


Between The Wars

by xDolllfie



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Canon Era, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Feelings, Feels, Fluff, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Love/Hate, Original Character(s), Original OC Plot, Plot, Psychological Trauma, Romance, War
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-10
Updated: 2020-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:27:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 30,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23096326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xDolllfie/pseuds/xDolllfie
Summary: In every Kingdom, there is an epic era that defies the boundaries of time and immortalized itself in the history books. For mankind, an epic era they will never forget has finally emerged. The war between humanity and Titans has finally come to a head. Caught between everything is an illegitimate daughter of a noblewoman, Ida Starke. As the terrors of being a soldier consume her and the dark secrets of her mysterious noble bloodline reveal itself, bringing with it a faint promise of ending of war, Ida's only grip on stability lies within the guidance of a certain crass Captain.Betrayal, secrets, attachments, love. Their ending will conclude an epic war wrought with heartache, blood, and endless tears. Love ceases to exist in a time like this but they found it, and promised that it'll be worth it. Every stubborn inch of it [LEVIXOC]Cross-posted on ff.net
Relationships: Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin) & Original Female Character(s)
Kudos: 3
Collections: Attack on Titan, Attack on Titan/Shingeki no Kyojin





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!  
> I'm an active writer another website, but I've grown to appreciate AO3, so I wanted to bring one of my fanfiction here to share with the community here :D
> 
> Cross-posted on fanfiction under a different name (I changed the title here, simply cause I hated the original title, but I can't change it there cause I have a lot of guest readers and I don't want to confuse them): https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10552201/1/Humanity-s-Strongest-Woman
> 
> This fanfiction already has 30+ chapter, but I'm in the middle of proof-reading/revamping some chapters so I'll periodically post them here when I'm finished editing it ^_^
> 
> Warning: This fanfiction contains spoilers from the manga. If you're not up to date with the manga, you have been warned. The plot will follow certain parts of the anime and manga, however, there's a twist to it.
> 
> This is my first full-fledge fanfiction, so any constructive criticism is welcomed!

**|. Prologue**

_"I knew that if I were to survive, I'd have to be strong. I once thought I was a weak, feeble woman, but now I know that I'm strong. I'm strong because I had the courage to love fearlessly even when I don't know what lies in the future. I'm strong because I fought bravely even when I knew the path I'm taking is bleak. I'm strong because I'm a daughter, a lover, and a mother a world like this. Don't you see? I have the power to live in this tainted world, through everything, and in the end, I still desire to live even when I know how horrible living in this world could be. To be strong is to have a will to live and an acceptance to die when it calls for you. Therefore, I'm strong and nothing can vanquish me." - I.S._

_._

_._

**Year 849, four years after the Fall of Wall Maria**

… _Captured, failure, agonizing hatred._

There was a persistent acidic burn in her stomach. She could hear her thumping heart in her ears, she could feel the warm, salty tears trailing down her cheeks. All of her senses had been intensified tenfold, and her tears seemed to be searing into her skin as if to constantly remind her of her miserable defeat.

 _Helpless_ , a voice inside her echoed. _Completely and utterly helpless._

_Beaten, broken, bitter…_

Clenching her jaw tightly, the metal handcuffs that held her wrists prisoner felt crippling as she twisted around uncomfortably, not caring if the rough steel grazed her skin and bruised it. Physical pain reminded her that she was still alive at the very least.

There was a burning fury in her chest that wouldn't die out—it clawed into her heart, a blazing fire raging so violently that it spread throughout her entire body.

The fury, the endless hatred, and resentment burned relentlessly, and all she wanted was for it to stop. It was so uncomfortable, so _tiring_. It drained her of every last bit of energy.

She just wanted everything to finally come to an end. To be this corrupted, this hateful, this vengeful for so long—it was enough to drive anyone insane.

She wanted to scream to the high heavens above, cursing them for condemning her to live like this, and she would have, but her mouth was drier than an oven.

There was always a strong belief that there were a heaven and a hell. It was said that the kind, the innocent, the _'good'_ people went to paradise, relishing in an eternal, peaceful afterlife; it was the condemned, the sinful, and the corrupted that went to the depths of hell. But then again, the existence of an afterlife was always debatable.

She knew for a fact however that there was hell in this world. She had seen it, witnessed it, lived it, caused it.

_Why?_

It was so utterly unfair; she didn't want to be like this. To harbor such strong rage, resentment and time-binding agony—these emotions were forced onto her, craving to destroy her very soul.

She never wanted to _kill_ , she never wanted to _hate,_ and she never wanted to _live_ in hell. All she had asked for was peace, happiness, a sense of belonging; however, it seemed that all those wishes were far beyond her reach.

"Oi, get up."

She slowly lifted her head to face the sudden cold voice in the vicinity, her piercing emerald gaze meeting with the stranger's dull gray orbs.

 _Haunting green eyes,_ he observed with an apathetic countenance when their gazes met. _Eyes that know of misery._

The man's expression was turned down in a scowl that creased his face and made it seem like it was a permanent expression for him. His short black hair swayed when he bent over, his hands releasing the chains attaching her to the pole with a click to the lock. She observed that he was still keeping the metal handcuffs bound around her wrist.

"Erwin wants to see you in his office," he informed her in a flat monotone. "Hurry up."

 _Breathe_ , she mentally prepared herself as she bit down on her lip hard. _You're not going down. Not like this._

Reluctantly she stood up, firmly maintaining her ever-impassive expression.

Despite the turmoil raging in her heart, she wasn't going to show anyone any sign of fear; she couldn't look weak, especially not in front of _him_. One would have never known the whirlwind of emotions she was currently experiencing with such a cool, stoic face.

Her escort led her through the narrow hallways of the Survey Corps' headquarters in a thick and tense silence.

"Who's that brat beside the Captain?" She had heard someone say when she passed. Through a curtain of disheveled and dirty red hair, she found herself staring at a couple donning military uniforms; a dirty blonde male and a petite ginger female.

"Leave her be, Oluo. Orders from above," the woman beside him reminded sternly, swinging her disapproving eyes up to meet his. She elaborated when her companion gave her a frown, "It appears that she's an underground mercenary that got captured. Other than that, no further information has been given."

Oluo Bozado scoffed haughtily, taking in the unknown woman's appearance—bright red hair tied messily into a side-braid, a tattered and torn black shirt, and bits of dried hardened blood clinging to the sides of her face and temples.

" _Huh_?" he said loudly in stunned wonder when he saw her before turning back to his teammate. "Why was that disgusting bitch given to the Captain to handle? Shouldn't she be handed over to the Military Police?"

Petra Ral, his veteran teammate, merely sighed, holding onto her obnoxious friend's shoulder. She already knew what he was about to ask. "I don't know anything," she admitted with a shake of her head. "Truly."

Her response left him looking rather confused, but the redhead was sure that his gaze was full of contempt and disgust when he looked back at her. "Well, we can't be having _filth_ around here while we work. Best she be gone soon."

"It's the Commander's direct orders. We have no right to doubt him," Petra chided her friend for his insensitivity and gave him an immediate frown before adding. "Though, I heard she's good at using the 3D maneuver gear."

Oluo's thin brow immediately arched at her words. Crossing his arms on his chests he eyed the redhead dubiously.

"That girl? Just look at her!" He stopped for a moment and threw a sharp glance at Petra, wanting her to see his point. "She's as frail as a twig and she's basically shivering like she's about to piss herself," he pointed out, his voice laced with nothing but disdain.

What he didn't know, however, was that she was shivering with _rage_ , not fear.

He sighed in defeat after Petra threw him another disapproving look. "But if it's the commander's orders, I'll overlook it," he added softly afterward with an awkward scratch to his head. "I just can't stand filth while I'm working."

His comrade beside him face-palmed exasperatedly. "You're trying to talk like Captain Levi again, aren't you?" she berated him sharply, slightly annoyed at Oluo's weird obsession to mimic their captain. "Stop that! You don't sound like him at all!"

She could hear them as they bickered childishly, their voices getting more distant as they traveled further down the hallway and away from her. _Ignorant people_ , she cursed inwardly. But then again, how could she expect understanding from people like them?

Soon enough, they arrived in front of a wide oakwood door. Her heart sank into the pit of her stomach when she realized the time had come.

The man beside her knocked a few times before swinging the doors open, pushing her in aggressively. She stumbled with the sudden shove and she heard the door slam shut after he had stepped in behind her. Her escort was now glaring at her with a brazen dislike—probably in an attempt to be intimidating. She would never admit it, but it worked.

"What are you going to do with her, Erwin? Why did you even bring her here in the first place?" The raven-haired male took no time in confronting his superior. He went forward and kicked the back of her knees, causing her to fall over to the floor with a muffled groan. "Kneel, brat."

Erwin Smith frowned distastefully, holding a hand up before her escort could continue. "Levi," he chided in a harsh voice and then walked towards the prisoner, hovering above her with an indescribable expression. A pause, and then, "What is your name?"

It sounded more like a demand to her than anything else and she scoffed at his audacity to ask her such a question.

Silence ensued, the tension between the three growing thicker with each passing second. A loud, violent _thwack_ broke the quiet air when Levi mercilessly swiped a hard kick across the redhead's face.

"Speak," he demanded hotly, gritting his teeth in obvious frustration at her silence.

It was clear that Levi did not enjoy wasting his time doing something as unproductive as this; when Erwin had informed him that he had brought back an _important_ prisoner from the underground, the last thing Levi expected was a shivering, stubborn, weak-looking brat.

Why was she so _important_ to Erwin Smith? So important that he had to _personally_ seek her out himself?

She coughed, her right cheek throbbing with pain as she fell to the floor. Still, she was determined to hold her silence—she wasn't going to _break_ , she wasn't going to cave in. This pain would not shatter her, for she had endured much worse than that.

Levi made an angry sound through his nose, raising his leg and kicking her lower jaw. Blood spilled from her mouth upon the harsh impact.

"Do you really need me to knock all your damn teeth out?" he threatened, glaring at her fiercely. "I told you to fucking talk."

"Levi," Erwin reminded him harshly. The man acknowledged his superior with a brief, stiff stare before looking away with a grunt. The Commander of the Survey Corps focused his attention back on the panting redhead on the ground. "I'll ask you once more. What is your name?"

This time, she tilted her head up in an exaggerated slowness. Her emerald eyes were searing with pure hatred as she glared at the older blond figure.

"You…" she spoke harshly through gritted teeth before abruptly standing up and charging towards him maliciously. She didn't get the chance to launch her attack on the commander before she was violently pulled back by her hair, groaning in agony as she fell backward.

She was exhausted both emotionally and physically. Being held captive had taken a toll on her; she was sure she could easily have defeated them if she wasn't so worn out.

"Why did you capture me?" she asked, gritting her teeth as she struggled to get off the floor. " _Why?_ After all this time?"

 _Will killing him take away all of this rage, all of this misery?_ —that question hovered in her mind but she herself couldn't answer. But she needed something, some _one_ to distract her from this time-binding agony.

"… Take her away," Erwin commanded after pensive consideration, turning his back on the girl as if to hide his expression.

"She seems to possess a strong hatred for you, Erwin," Levi analyzed smoothly, narrowing his gray eyes on his commander suspiciously.

Over the years, Levi had learned to see through some of Erwin's more subtle actions, although not with complete accuracy. He knew something was unsettling his usually composed commander—in fact, his suspicion first roused this morning when he heard that Erwin and a group of soldiers had traveled to the underground city in search of an important criminal.

Initially, even if Erwin hadn't said much, he had expected that the man had a lead on one of the corrupt nobles within the walls, but what Levi hadn't expected was that he'd bring back a beaten-down woman— _who was she and why was she so important for Erwin to assign his own soldiers to capture her?_

"Who is she?" Levi continued when Erwin remained silent. "You know her, don't you?"

Erwin threw a look at his leading soldier, sighing softly as a cloud of guilt began touching at his blue eyes. "… Ida Starke. That is her name."

At the sound of her name leaving Erwin's lips, a flash of disgust crossed the woman's face. She clenched her fists tightly, her nails digging into her palms. She had waited _twenty_ _years_ for this—to see the infamous leader of the Survey Corps—but not under these circumstances. Not on her _knees_.

"A noble girl?" Levi asked for clarification, recognizing her last name as one of the prestigious noble households from the north of Wall Sina.

When Erwin only nodded once, Levi grimaced.

"I don't need to know this useless brat's name," he countered challengingly with narrowed eyes. "What I want to know is why you went through all this fucking trouble for her. Surely you could've enlisted the help of the Military Police instead of the Survey Corps?"

"Because…" Ida lifted her face off the floor with all the strength she could muster. Her voice was cool as ice as she spoke. "My real name is not Ida Starke…"

She glanced in the direction of the composed blonde, her raging forest-green eyes loathing the sight of him. "My birth name is Ida Smith… isn't that right, _father_?"

A raw, tense silence ensued as both men stared at her speculatively. She could sense Levi's shock from his apprehensive silence, but Ida couldn't discern what Erwin was feeling. Finding it redundant to keep her focus on Erwin—especially when she was starting to get annoyed with the disapproving glint in his judgmental eyes—she lowered her apathetic gaze with a scoff of disbelief.

 _Twenty_ years she'd waited and dreamed of this day, but never in her wildest dreams imagined that Erwin would be the one looking for her. What was he playing at? What did he _want_? After twenty years, it was clear to Ida that Erwin wanted nothing to do with her.

_So why now?_

"Damn." Levi was the first to break the silence that Ida expected to go on forever. He folded his strong arms, scowling at the news. "You really fucked up big time, didn't you Erwin?"

Erwin didn't appreciate his jest. "Find her a suitable room and tend to her wounds," he finally breathed out, tearing his gaze away from Levi's intense stare. "I leave things to you, Levi. Do as you see fit."

Levi scowled in intense disapproval. "You're making me play the shitty role of babysitter now?"

A sharp and intense look from Erwin was all it took to send Levi hissing in defeat as he forcibly grabbed the reluctant girl by her collar, dragging her out the door none too gently.

"You fucking heard him. Let's go," he grumbled frustratedly.

 _This is a one-time favor,_ Levi told himself, knowing that Erwin could use some time to sort out his emotions. _I'll not be held responsible for this brat._

**o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o**

" _In life, you don't always get what you want."_

It was a fact that Levi Ackerman had known all too well. He had grown up as an infamous thug in the slums of the underground, after all. Stealing, plundering, and killing was all he ever knew before he joined the Survey Corps—or to be more exact before he was blackmailed into joining by Erwin Smith. Was it his choice to live as a thug? _No_. Was it his choice to kill? _Perhaps_.

Life was all about choices. Some we regret, some we're proud of, and some will haunt us forever.

But what if your ability to _choose_ was taken away?

For Levi, there was no such thing as destiny or fate. One way or another, he knew that he was always responsible for his life—he couldn't choose how he lived from the start, but he could choose how he'd meet his end.

He'd grown up as a vicious thug with no purpose in life, and now he was Humanity's Strongest, the revered Lance Corporal from the Survey Corps—he had offered his heart to the benefit of mankind, he had a _purpose_.

How things had changed.

But Levi had never expected that even after gaining the position of Lance Corporal, and the renowned title of Humanity's Strongest Soldier, would he ever have to resort to doing petty things like this again. It was a waste of his time and Levi _certainly_ didn't like being unproductive.

He stormed into the room without even knocking, aggravated beyond means that he had to play babysitter. "Oi, brat. Change into this."

Ida Starke snapped her head up and looked impassively at her visitor before returning her gaze to the ground.

Levi raised a brow at her silence. "Are you going to keep silent forever, or what?" His irritation doubled as she stubbornly continued to hold her tongue. "Oi, I'm fucking talking to you."

She tore her gaze away from the ground again, her shimmering emerald eyes boring deep into the man by the door.

Levi scowled, dumping the clothes on the bed. "…You don't look like Erwin at all," he commented after a tense, awkward pause, musing over her looks.

"I take after my mother," she replied darkly, an undercurrent of warmness in her voice as if she found pride in that fact.

Levi was surprised that she'd responded, and he couldn't help but probe further. As much as it didn't seem like it, he was intrigued by the sudden news and appearance of Erwin's flesh and blood. "Where is she now?"

"Dead," Ida said simply with half-lidded eyes, her voice dark and devoid of emotion. "Titans killed her."

He considered her dubiously for a moment before voicing his question, his tone flat and deadpan. "Shouldn't you be safely tucked away behind Wall Sina, being a noble brat and all?"

"I was born out of wedlock, abandoned by my father and frowned upon by my mother's noble family." Her fist tightened as she took a brief pause. "Do you really think I would be able to live a comfortable life bathing in luxury like those swine?" she rebuffed sarcastically, her eyes glistening irately at his ignorance. "I was cast out and lived with my disgraced mother in the Shiganshina district."

Levi regarded the woman in front of him, trying to decipher just what kind of person she was. "Is that why you became a mercenary in the underground? To earn a living?"

In all honesty, Levi could empathize with her situation; he too had been apart of the underground society once upon a time. He knew how _hard_ life was down there—the things that people did, the things that they _had_ to do.

"It's none of your damn business," she spat with venom. Her narrowed eyes started gazing around the room.

Now that her handcuffs were off, Ida felt much more comfortable, and that also meant a chance for escape—but where would she even _go_ after she fled? It wasn't as though she had somewhere she _belonged_ to or somewhere to call _home_.

"Don't even think about it, brat." Levi cocked a thin brow. "You're not going anywhere."

Ida gritted her teeth harshly, her fists curling with a rigid clutch on the bedspreads beneath her. _Sharp_ , she thought. _Very sharp indeed. Almost as though he could predict my movements_.

She made a mental note of his perceptiveness before speaking up again. "Is that the bastard's order? To lock me up in here?"

"Sorry to burst your bubble, but it's mine," Levi deadpanned, slightly aggravated with her tone.

Ida was surprised by his bluntness, but she supposed he had spent all his patience already.

After a resigned sigh, Levi stepped forward. "I'm going to cut to the damn chase. Since Erwin left things to me, here's my proposition: join the Survey Corps, or I will hand your useless ass to the Military Police. At least this way you'll have a purpose for your shitty life."

Her expression was as cool as a statue, but it was her tone that showed the intense rage sizzling inside her. She was trying hard to compose herself, but she couldn't help the disbelieving, sardonic scoff that left her lips, "Do you even know what you're saying?"

It was only when she saw that Levi was, in fact, serious with his proposal did she begin to frown. Not out of confusion, however, but disgust. "I'm not joining this shitty excuse of a legion," she stated flatly. " _Wings of_ _Freedom_? _Hope for_ _humanity_? Don't make me laugh! What have you, or _any_ of the 'elite' soldiers of the Survey Corps done for humanity? How many people _have_ you saved? How many people _can_ you save?"

" _Tch_." Levi made an irritated sound, meeting her gaze with a challenge. "You really are a genuine brat. Well then, what are you going to do? Go back to the slums? Rot in a dingy alleyway? Rob, plunder, kill? What _purpose_ do you have?"

Was it sympathy he felt? Perhaps, but maybe Levi just didn't want to condemn his superior's daughter to prison. He owed Erwin after all. Still, the anger he was feeling was surprising, even to himself.

He was offering her a choice. A different life, a different future—like Erwin had offered him—or life in jail. Levi was offering something that gave meaning to her insignificant existence. For a moment, he couldn't even comprehend what he was trying to do—him, pretending he was righteous and compassionate?

Levi Ackerman knew for a fact that he was rotten to the core, and he'd never once denied it. His hands had been stained scarlet long ago. Maybe this was why he wanted to help the woman in front of him. He could see it in her the moment he laid eyes on her: she was a person with a name but nowhere she belonged. She was just like him in the past.

She was a person with no _purpose_ , living and breathing, yet dead like a lifeless doll.

"Why do you care?" Ida barked back fiercely, not backing down from his glare. "I'm not joining your pathetic excuse of a legion. Where was the Survey Corps when the Titans invaded Wall Maria? The most actively involved in Titan combat, the so-called _'Titan-killers,'_ the great heroes that fight for our liberation and you couldn't even protect humanity from losing a third of its territory."

Levi rolled his eyes in annoyance, "So, you're blaming us for the death of your mother?"

"Is there a problem, midget?" Ida snapped back with hostility, not liking the tone of his voice. She could feel it, could feel the condescending _judgment_.

"I thought you were an idiot, and from what I can tell, you certainly didn't inherit any of Erwin's traits," Levi answered mockingly, eyeing the seething redhead in front of him with contempt. "Also, from what I can see, you're a damn midget yourself."

Ida fumed. It was true that she was around the same height as Levi and she did have a petite figure, but that wasn't what she was furious about.

"Do _not_ compare me with that bastard," she warned with a snarl.

"I can do whatever the hell I want." Levi's face was cool and calm, clearly unaffected by the underlying threat in her tone. "It's not a good idea to piss me off right now, since your shitty fate depends on me."

Levi had come across too many insane women in his life, and this brat in front of him was nothing foreign to him. His mind flickered to the drooling face of the hyperactive Hanji Zoe while she ogled at the Titans, shuddering inwardly at the thought.

Ida's brows clashed together in a confused furrow. "Just what are you trying to say?"

Levi scowled in annoyance and scoffed. Ida could see it written all over his face—he was frustrated that he was talking to her. He looked down on her.

"You're just looking for someone to _blame_ for your mother's death and all the _shit_ that had happened to you," he pointed out without any tact. "You're weak and cowardly."

She gritted her teeth in response, greatly offended by his insensitive remark. "Who the fuck are you to say that?!"

"Listen, you damned brat," Levi rolled his sharp gray eyes, clearly having had enough of her insolence. "In case my words are too hard to comprehend in that pea-size blockhead of yours, I will put this in simpler terms; you couldn't protect your _mother_ or save your _home_ , you were weak and useless, but you refuse to acknowledge that, and blame your fate on others instead. Things just turned out that way—it's _nobody's_ fault."

In a flash, Ida grabbed the fruit knife by the table and aimed it for his neck. She had just about had enough with this man, and her patience was at her limit.

"You don't know who you're talking to," she threatened cockily, her eyes flashing with rage and malicious intent.

 _Denial. Hatred. Rage._ Ida Starke didn't know how to lock it all away.

Levi knew she wasn't making an idle threat, but he remained unaffected and composed. Dead-locking his eyes with her determined forest-green ones, he smirked, clearly intrigued by the woman in front of him. He had to admit, she had guts, but she was reckless with her actions.

He didn't know what happened to her, and neither could he claim to know what misery she'd endured. But Levi could conclude one thing with relative ease: she was also a victim of _circumstances_. From the moment she was born out of wedlock, to the day she was cast out, to the fall of Wall Maria.

Ida Starke, like many others, was simply a victim of their twisted world.

With a confidence that he wouldn't miss, he landed a fast kick to her legs and grabbed her wrist, twisting it and forcing her to drop the blade. He effectively subdued her further with another sharp twist to her arm and pinned her against the table.

"The same could be said to you," Levi mocked with an irritated scowl. "The reason why I'm assigned to this ridiculously shitty babysitting task is because there's no one else here more skilled or more capable of disciplining cocky incompetent brats."

 _Fast._ Ida couldn't even believe how quick he was. She didn't even see his counter-attack coming. Gasping as Levi spun her around, he held onto her wrist as he locked his eyes with hers. "As much as it pains me to admit, you've got spunk."

"Is that supposed to be a fucking compliment?" Ida snarled vehemently. She felt his cold, haunting eyes observing her like he was contemplating what to do with her next.

"I heard you're skilled with the 3D maneuver gear," he started and Ida's brow arched curiously in response. "So lend humanity your strength. If not for humanity, do it for yourself; fight for your freedom, fight to avenge, or at the very least, fight for your damned self," Levi's voice was firm and unwavering, his eyes boring into her like he already knew her answer. "Take your pick."

He released his grip on her roughly and watched as she rubbed her wrists. He turned around, his back never turning back to the perplexed woman as he took firm strides toward the exit. He stopped just before he closed the door, his grim voice denoting his seriousness.

"Decide, and fucking make it quick."

Ida felt all her remaining strength disappear when Levi left and fought hard to keep herself on her feet. Looking at the bed where he had left her a change of clothes, she picked up the cloak, smoothing the dark green fabric with the Survey Corps insignia imprinted on it. The wings of freedom.

She didn't know how long she stared at it, nor was she aware that she was holding her breath. The raw silence that had become her only friend was suffocating as the seconds passed.

_Denial._

After witnessing a traumatizing, horrifying event, and after years and years of refusing to acknowledge the truth, Ida Starke had slipped into denial. So many people she had loved, so many people she had cared for—they were gone now. She had been a first-hand witness to the never-ending war that mankind fought with the Titans.

 _No,_ she shook her head. _It's wasn't a war. It was a one-sided massacre. Humanity was helpless._

Even after the Wall fell, the people that she cared about disappeared one by one.

It was on this very day of her capture did she finally felt the glass cages of denial that had been trapping her for years splinter, crack, and crumble. The realization left an agonizing stinging in her heart and a nauseating churning in her stomach.

But she willed it to fade and composed herself. She would not cry. She no longer had any tears left.

Ida Starke had lived a cursed life. Anxiety, rage—and not to mention hate—that she couldn't hold in. All of these emotions simmered in the pot that was her soul while she had done nothing but curse her own existence.

In life, people had to make many choices. Some are important, some trivial, and some insignificant. The choices people make, however, determine a large part of happiness or unhappiness, because you have to live with the consequences of your choices.

A choice had befallen Ida Starke.

For a good few minutes, she stood there, unmoving. Then, a soft coo made her turn her head to look at the open window. A bird, flying higher than ever. It suddenly dawned upon her just how insignificant her existence was. Despite that, however, she realized that maybe... she could still make a difference.

She could make _freedom_ happen.

Just how worth it was _freedom_ that simply dreaming about it managed to send countless soldiers to their early graves?

She wanted to find out for herself.

With a loud exhale, she grabbed onto the uniform, slid her arms into the tan jacket, and fastened the green cloak around her neck. Her emerald eyes were blazing with profound determination. Ida knew that Levi's brash comments were intended to weaken her resolve, but they only served to strengthen it.

She caught sight of her reflection in the mirror when she was done and for once, she felt a flicker of hope in her stale heart.

"…A soldier," she echoed out in disbelief, fingertips softly touching at the reflective mirror.

How did things turn out like this? Ida Starke didn't know. Was this what she was waiting for? Her _redemption_? A _purpose_ to continue living when she had long resigned herself to _death_? A choice she could make?

It wasn't as though she hadn't done horrible things—she had. Cruel and vicious things, void of any compassion. Too often in life when something happens, we blame others for our unhappiness. However, no matter the circumstances, everyone had a choice—to accept the situation or to curse it.

For once, Ida decided to accept the situation. It wasn't like she had anything to lose anyway; people who _had_ nothing feared nothing. If she would have to gamble with fate, then so be it.

 _Survive_. That was what she needed to do for now.

Ida Starke was _strong_ —not just because of her skills, not just because of the way she was able to accept and adapt quickly, but because of her ability to live through _hell_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Prologue begins one year before Eren and the others join the Survey Corps, they will be appearing in this story very often and I plan to make them the main supporting characters! Thank you for giving this fanfiction a shot! Reviews are very much appreciated! I want to hear what you guys think!
> 
> A big thank you to my dear beta-readers: Jikola, Lucifae and ShadowedNara


	2. Captain Troubles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to those who gave this fanfiction a chance! I would say Ida is a character some might NOT like straight off the bat, she's different, more realistic I guess. You'll see her develop soon enough, she's not that bad, I promise!
> 
> There's a reason why I made her that way; everything to why she is so skilled, why she is noble, her personality, etc, there's a reason for everything. I guess more will be revealed as the story progresses. I understand most OCs are introduced into the story with their full backstory already laid out in the first few chapters, but I decide not to do it because I feel that it makes for more interesting storytelling.

"Are you kidding me, Captain?" Eld Jinn was beyond appalled by the sudden news. So much so that he couldn't help but raise his voice at Levi.

He paused for a moment when Levi threw him a scathing look and he quickly elaborated, "The enrollment of new recruits is conducted after their three-year training course. You want to add _her_ to our ranks when she's got no prior experience?"

"I agree," Gunther nodded stiffly. "She will die on her first expedition."

Though Gunther hadn't managed to catch a glimpse of the newest addition to the Survey Corps yet, it was rumored that she wouldn't last long judging by her appearance; small in stature, light in weight, a face that didn't look _ready_ for violence.

Levi frowned deeply and grimaced before turning to address the silent blonde Commander seated at the end of the table. "I know it's pissing on the rules. I won't say anything if you object."

Erwin Smith interlaced his fingers, staring straight into the eyes of his best soldier as he tried to decipher just _what_ he was trying to do exactly. When he had left instructions that he'd leave things to Levi, the last thing he expected was for the man to recruit her.

"I understand perfectly that she doesn't have any prior training and may cause concerns for some time," Erwin began carefully. "But even with that being said, she could be honed into a formidable soldier with the skill-set she has displayed so far. She has potential."

It'd only been him and a few other soldiers consisting of Mike that went to the Underground City and fought with Ida Starke. _Why_ did he go down there after hearing rumors that she was alive? It was a mystery that even Erwin Smith himself couldn't decipher.

It was said that an unconditional bond between parent and child couldn't properly be described by anyone who hadn't had any children — so why was it that he, a parent, couldn't even describe it? Perhaps because he had thought her to be _dead_ all these years after the fall of Wall Maria. Perhaps it was because he hadn't really been much of a _parent_.

Despite that, however, Erwin couldn't help but feel a pinch in his stale heart when his estranged daughter had pointed her blade threateningly at him, telling him to go.

_"I have no family,"_ she'd stated icily when Erwin had confronted her in the Underground City. _"No mother, no father, no friends. Leave me alone."_

But Erwin could only look at the woman threatening him with a wave of nostalgia, though she didn't reveal her name to him back then he knew her identity right off the bat. S _he looks so much like her mother,_ Erwin remembered thinking when he first laid eyes on her. He remembered everything to this day, right down how he abandoned her to pursue his dreams.

"I object to this!" Oluo piped out loudly from the table, ignoring how Petra was frowning distastefully at his loudness. "Even if we accept that _little brat_ into the Survey Corps, she shouldn't immediately be placed in the Special Operations Squad! Our role in the legion has always been to eliminate the biggest Titan threat, she will die in her first expedition!"

With gritted teeth and a furrowed brow, Oluo certainly did not look happy. He had worked his way up the position he had today — spilled blood and sweat, and devoted hours to honing his skills. It was no surprise to anyone that he'd taken offense to the sudden news.

"That _little brat_ gave even Erwin a hard time capturing her Oluo," Levi countered pointedly with an exhale. He crossed his arms. "She'd be of use."

The Commander considered Levi's words for a moment before turning to him pensively, "If I were to entrust her to your squad, you would be responsible for her training, Levi. I suppose you are aware of that?"

He snorted briskly in response before grumbling grouchily. " _Tch_ , I know that."

"It's settled then." Erwin nodded his head understandingly, moving out of his seat. "I expect a standard report on her training weekly. You're dismissed."

" _Eh_? Are you serious?!" Eld almost choked on the air he was breathing when he heard that, but backed down in defeat and folded his arms when his Commander threw him a steaming look.

As Erwin left the meeting room, a thousand questions were swarming around his mind — _just what was going to happen now?_

A loud sigh slipped passed his lips _._ His _daughter_ , his flesh and blood. After twenty years since her birth, the only thing Erwin could offer her was the same fate as him: a merciless life on the front lines, a life full of misery and blood, a life full of danger.

He sighed again, debating if he had made the right choice. All he could hope was for her departed mother to forgive him.

**o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o**

Ida Starke knew it was hard being a member of the Survey Corps. It wasn't as though she hadn't seen the level of destruction the Titans brought. She _had_.

What troubled her more than the prospect of fighting Titans, however, was her relationship with Erwin Smith. She knew that accepting Levi's proposal would only mean more interactions with Erwin whether she liked it or not, and she wasn't exactly fond of the idea.

Much to her surprise and bewilderment, Erwin had accepted her into the legion without much hesitation, and that was something that made her feel relatively uncomfortable and suspicious. She just didn't know what he was playing at. Thankfully, Levi Ackerman — her new squad leader — had come to the conclusion that it would be more beneficial if no one knew about her biological relationship with the commander of the Survey Corps, and she readily agreed to that proposition.

But it didn't take long however for Erwin to start attempting awkward small talk with her whenever they met in the hallways. _'How are you,'_ or _'how are you adjusting' —_ it was the usual type of questions one would ask an acquaintance merely out of politeness.

It was exactly _why_ Ida had taken offense to it, merely turning away with a dull expression and rebuffing Erwin's attempts whenever he tried talking to her. It was twenty years too late for him to _try_ and get to know her.

Initially, Ida had thought it was going to be difficult to avoid the pesky blonde. But now, she'd come to the resounding conclusion that being a soldier in Captain Levi's squad was _far_ more challenging.

Three days after she had officially joined the Survey Corps when she signed the enlistment papers, she found herself scrubbing a table in his room.

"Your half-assed cleaning won't do," Levi reprimanded harshly as he stormed into the room, a dirty rag clutched in his rigid grasp. "What the hell are you doing, Starke?"

She flinched at the sound of his dark voice. He sounded pissed.

It would be hard for anyone to take him seriously while Levi was donned in his _'cleaning attire'_ that consisted of a white bandana and a white mask that covered half his face, but Ida had learned the hard way to take him seriously — she didn't want to run thirty laps around the field again for missing a tiny spot on the windows.

However, today was one of those days where she blatantly refused to be trampled on.

"It's six in the morning!" Ida, sleep-deprived and extremely aggravated over his cleaning antics, argued back impertinently. "You wake me up at five to do cleaning, so what kind of shit work would you expect, sir?!"

Levi grunted as he inspected the room, clearly unimpressed. "There's nothing more respectable than a spotless sleeping area," he retorted unyieldingly, determined to prove his point. "I want you to sweep the courtyard after this, _twice_ , just to be sure." He paused for a moment and sighed loudly, shaking his head. "God damn it, you can't even get _one_ thing right."

She could only silently curse her wretched Captain. It was just her luck that she'd get a chauvinistic bastard for a squad leader. Ida had expected that being a soldier meant endless torturous training, not cleaning all around the dorms. It was redundant and a complete waste of time.

In fact, she'd lost count of how many times she desperately wanted to yell at him in exasperation — to shout that if he demanded perfection, he should've just done the cleaning himself. But the fear of having a longer list of chores won over her anger.

"What?" Levi arched a thin brow when he noticed that she looked hesitant to speak.

Ida couldn't hate herself more for actually caving into his intimidation. She wasn't exactly good at obeying orders, but since this was a Military, she reckoned that strict rules and hierarchy were always enforced.

In addition, she had learned that her Captain had a bite as fierce as his bark. ' _Humanity's strongest'_ he was called, and it was only after the cadet filing her official enlist papers divulged this piece of information to her did Ida truly comprehend just how revered and respect this man was.

And this _intrigued_ her, she supposed.

"It's nothing," Ida replied dismissively.

"Your face says otherwise," Levi pointed out briskly, not backing down. "If you've got a problem, then spit it out, brat."

Ida exhaled loudly at his unwillingness to drop the subject. "I'm going to have a panic attack every time I see a damn broom now," she muttered bitterly under her breath.

Unfortunately for her, however, Levi's sharp ears picked up everything she'd said.

" _Oh_?" Levi leveled his hard glare with hers and scoffed. "So, you're saying that when the discipline gets too intense, it could traumatize you?" he added sardonically.

She hated the sound of that _mocking_ tone, absolutely detested it. Ida stopped cleaning the tables and mustered up her best death glare, clearly offended by the crassness of his remark.

She could sense it in his gaze that was rife with judgment, he _looked_ down on her.

"Just as I thought. You're nothing but a brat." He shook his head, glaring at her spitefully. "I'll go check on the room upstairs. You've cleaned the room already, right?"

Ida only grunted irritably in response, focusing back on her cleaning before she _actually_ tried to strangle him. It was only after Levi had left the room did she groan in exasperation, throwing the rag she was holding to the ground in her frustration.

She knew that she had a short fuse, but she had tried — _desperately_ , might she add — to accommodate Levi's cleaning antics. But what had thrown her off today was the aggravating fact that she wasn't even cleaning her own dorm. She was assigned to clean Levi's personal room. Ida was smart enough to know better than to gripe and disobey orders though, no matter how unfair it was.

"What is up with that clean freak?!" she grumbled to herself angrily, scanning the spotless room she was in. "Humanity's strongest my _freakin'_ ass. More like Humanity's most obsessive soldier."

One thing she'd discovered about Levi was that he had an _adverse_ reaction to any form of dirt, so much so that everything had to be precise and neat. Even the way he aligned the quills and ink in his drawers had to be in a certain way. It was beyond aggravating to Ida who couldn't comprehend his uncanny habit no matter how much she tried. Just how clean did he want the place to be? She was sure it was probably clean enough to eat off the floor.

As she pondered over a string of plausible excuses to skip out on cleaning duties, a knock on the door drew her out of her mischievous thoughts. "Captain? Are you in there— _oh_!"

A light ginger-haired petite female stared at Ida, her amber-colored eyes studying her as she took in the redhead's cleaning attire that Levi demanded she wears.

Then, she smiled vibrantly, entering the room. "You're the new member right?" she asked politely in a musical voice. "I'm Petra Ral, nice to meet you."

Ida stared at her impassively before picking up the rag and reverting back to cleaning. She'd recognized her as a member in the same dorm as her, but she hadn't had a chance to talk to her yet.

"Ida Starke," she introduced dismissively.

"You're a _noblewoman_?" Petra blinked, clearly surprised though she quickly reverted back to a smile.

Ida grimaced at the mention of how she was part of the nobility. Everyone who she had met in the Survey Corps thus far had deigned to reiterate this fact to her and it wasn't something that Ida particularly enjoyed. Petra didn't seem to notice her displeasure though, for she kept on talking.

"You're the girl that Commander Erwin brought in, right? I remember you. I was surprised to hear that someone like you joined the Survey Corps," she added before extending her hand out in greeting. "Welcome to the squad."

Despite the warm welcome, however, Ida didn't even spare the ginger a second glance, merely murmuring a small _"thanks"_ in response.

Petra awkwardly withdrew her proffered hand, slightly hurt that Ida rebuffed her attempts to be friendly. But she quickly decided to pay it no mind.

"...Captain is making you clean huh?" she chuckled awkwardly, slightly taken aback by Ida's unsociable and unapproachable demeanor.

The redhead grunted in response, scrubbing the table harder as she imagined Levi's face on it. She allowed a secret sadistic smile to touch her lips when she thought about how much she would've _enjoyed_ rubbing his face with a dirty rag, watching him scream in disgust because he got filthy.

"Well, don't get so mad at him," Petra observed the redhead's discontent silently. "He's like that with all the newbies, even us! I've served him for two years and even I still don't get his uncanny cleaning habits."

The ginger's smile grew wider as she continued trying to make small talk, but Ida was as unapproachable as a Titan; cold and distant.

Scratching her head, Petra took her grim silence as her cue to leave Ida alone for now. "Well, see you at training later. It's your first day, right?"

"Looking forward to getting my ass chewed by that midget of a Captain," Ida grumbled sarcastically.

Petra only laughed softly and landed a reassuring hand on the redhead's shoulder. Ida stiffened at her soft touch, certainly not use to having someone make physical contact with her. "We all went through that rite of passage once. You can't imagine the first time I was assigned to Captain Levi's squad. I had to clean until my arms were sore. He just wants to enforce his strict habits on us, that's all," she explained. "Don't hate him too much."

Ida frowned distastefully, shrugging Petra's hands off her. "Consider it enforced."

In fact, Ida was so sure she never wanted to see another rag again. For the past three days, all she'd done was cleaning; from wiping windows to scrubbing floors to sweeping the courtyard.

This was certainly not how she'd expected life as a Survey Corps' soldier to be — she felt utterly _useless_.

"If you have any trouble at all, just look for me!" Petra offered kindly, grinning as she skipped out the door. "We girls have to stick together," she winked playfully before disappearing from of sight. "See you!"

Finally alone again, Ida let out another exhausted sigh. _What a nice girl,_ she thought to herself silently, mentally visualizing Petra's bright smile. But she hastily pushed that thought out of her mind before she could allow the guilt of rudely rebuffing the ginger's attempts to be friendly to creep up on her. The rational part of her mind was screaming — _'No, you can't!'_

Ida knew that she was better off alone — she didn't need any friends, comrades or any companion for that matter. She was fine like this. Truth to be told, Ida was so terribly afraid of attachment that she avoided it like the plague.

Attachment only brought _grief_. Attachment only brought _horror_. Attachment only brought _pain_.

Irreversibly scarred from the misery of witnessing endless amounts of death and drowned by survivor's guilt, Ida had resolved to always stay alone.

_Nothing can hurt you if you have nothing to lose,_ she would tell herself over and over again as her mantra. _It's the things that I love most that destroy me._

After everything that Ida had gone through since the fall of Wall Maria, the _negativity_ and _cynicism_ dominated the majority of her. Betrayal by the people she cared about, deaths of the people she loved and the list of her horrendous past experiences went on. By the end of it, Ida found herself doubting everything and learned that it was foolish to get close to people, and it was even _more_ foolish to place your trust in people you didn't know.

This world that she lived in could be defined by a simple phrase: the survival of the _fittest_.

At first, she'd thought that this _change_ was just a part of the package when Wall Maria fell, but during her time in the Underground City, she'd realized that nothing had really changed at all. Things only became _clearer_ to her — weak people stay weak — they're trampled on, used and killed.

The world was the same as it ever was... as it had _always_ been.

Her mind started drifting as she set herself to her task. In truth, Ida Starke had never expected she would ever join the Military — much less, the Survey Corps — and she didn't know what had gotten into her when she agreed. The thought of her being outside of the walls would have absolutely made her mother's head spin.

For a moment, Ida could hear her mother's chastising voice in her head, could imagine the stern lecture she would have received if she knew she was about to battle Titans. When those thoughts only served to bring forth a torrent of emotions she didn't particularly want to deal with right then, she determinedly pushed her mother's would-be lecture out of mind.

Elsie Starke — her mother — was once a bright woman, but the stress raising her child alone and her noble family abandoning her had taken its toll on her as the years passed. Ida silently witnessed her mother crumble day by day and slowly but surely, her unhappiness became all too clear. She knew for a fact that her mother wouldn't have approved of her only daughter risking her life on expeditions.

Even with her efforts to push every disturbing thought out of her mind, Ida couldn't help but grit her teeth in unfathomable anger. She had long since passed the stage of despair and anguish, and all she was left with after the years was a fierce burning resentment. Somewhere inside her, murderous intent cried for blood.

She was never going to forgive _herself_ nor was she _ever_ going to be forgiven.

She, who had witnessed her home being ripped apart and her mother being swiped up by a hideous Titan and killed. She, who had brought people to their demise time after time in the Underground City. She, who couldn't even _protect_ the people she cared about.

Ida Starke would _never_ forgive herself.

Thoughts of the Titans brought forth another wave of emotions in her mind. Ida understood very well about the dreadful horrors those monsters brought, but honestly, she didn't really care. Knowing her past self, she'd probably be scared shitless simply thinking about fighting them, but she was different now.

Ida Starke had _changed_.

Since she was twelve, she'd lived in the Shiganshina District. Before that, however, she'd bathed in luxury in the riches of her maternal family. Raised in Wall Sina far away from harm for the first half of her life without worry or fear of the Titans, she'd been privileged, even if she was a disgraceful love child. Even her life in exile in the Shiganshina District hadn't been all bad, and for that she was grateful.

Before Ida had never known the hardness of work, the bitter truth of Titans or even realized how pathetic Humanity was to live in confined cages deprived of freedom. But everything changed for her the very day Wall Maria fell and she was trafficked off to the Underground City against her will. It was the day where she lost everything.

She remembered her past when her fists would only bleed, not strike. When she witnessed and touched death, only to feel her fingertips shudder in despair. Where everything she had held dear was obliterated, pulverized, burnt to dust and washed away in the ferociously raging rain and then forgotten forever.

But despite everything, she was determined to _survive_.

So she came back with hands calloused from wielding sharp blades, eyesight sharp with accuracy, and senses honed beyond the average human. In the Underground City where she'd taken refuge and called home, she painfully studied the sinful wonders of weapons and mastered the art of stealth and deceit for the sake of survival. She honed her skills in the underground slums for years, doing _anything_ and _everything_ to get by another day.

The pressure from simply remembering was finally evoking a reaction within her and Ida exhaled a maddening breath. Planning to distract herself from depressing thoughts, she gripped tightly on the rag she was holding. She had thought that enlisting in the Survey Corps would mean that she would always be kept busy training; kept so busy that she wouldn't spiral back to her self-destructive streak, but so far all she had done was learn that she was a terrible, _terrible_ cleaner.

"…This isn't working out," she concluded miserably.

Cleaning wasn't going to get her anywhere near distracted enough; it only encouraged her to think even more, to _feel_ more. Throwing her rag to the ground, she scanned her bored eyes around the room. Her eyes twinkled with a vengeance as she approached Levi's bed, her mind brimming with mischievous thoughts.

_This would show him, that damned bastard!_

Impulsively, she climbed on top of his bed, her dirty combat boots still intact as she began jumping around the white sheets, fiercely determined to create a filthy mess that was sure to drive her clean-freak Captain ballistic. It felt liberating to exact revenge and have some fun at the same time.

"Starke."

As quickly as the smile came to her face it vanished, and Ida felt fear take hold, her body straightening like a pole when she heard _that_ voice. It was so distinctive that she had no doubt it was _him_.

_Fuck._

Turning around nervously, she inwardly berated herself for even attempting to pull off such a childish prank without thinking of the consequences.

Levi Ackerman leveled her with a hard furious gaze. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?"

For the first time in a long time, fear crippled her speech and her mind went blank. Levi hardened his glare even more, his gray eyes clearly conveying the message: _"Explain yourself or I'll personally end you."_

It was embarrassing enough getting caught like a naughty little kid pulling off a childish prank, but the intimidating look on Levi's face was all too clear. Ida could only swallow dryly, knowing exactly what was coming.

His feet were tapping on the ground and Ida knew that his patience trickling away as he waited for a response. "Well, you disgusting brat?"

Ida could tell he was mad — _hell_ , mad was an understatement. Infuriated beyond words was a far better description. His lips were twitching in disdain and she knew it was the end for her.

But what came out of her mouth was one of the most stupid and embarrassing things she'd ever said.

"I — I was trying to make the bed soft for you, s — sir!"

**o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o**

Was she pleased to see Captain Levi's expression after he saw the muddy stains on his sparkling white sheets? _Yes_. Was she overjoyed when he started turning as red as a tomato, shivering in shock and anger at the mess she'd created? _Yes_.

So, after everything was said and done, had it been worth it? _Hell fucking no._

From afar, she found herself glancing at Levi who was by the training fields and shuddered inwardly in horror. That man somehow managed to look terribly intimidating despite his small stature — perhaps he really was _Humanity's Strongest_ after all.

True to his infamous reputation, Levi was just as ruthless as one could expect. In front of everyone in the Survey Corps, he dragged her by the collar like an ashamed child caught stealing a cookie before dinner through the hallways and made her clean _every_ staircase in the headquarters with only a bucket of soapy water and a _tiny_ toothbrush.

Ida had decided then that she _hated_ those that had laughed at her demise.

Almost everyone who passed by chuckled at the spectacle they saw: their famed Captain dressed in his trusty old cleaning suit, shouting at the furiously scrubbing redhead as she endured his discipline with withering patience.

Now, she couldn't even walk past a bunch of Survey Corps soldiers without someone snickering and whispering to themselves. Ida was beginning to dream about living back in the underground slums. It sounded like heaven to her ears as opposed to this.

_Excellent_ , she thought wryly, mentally kicking herself. She was a fresh newbie and she was already having trouble with the superior directly in charge of her. Ida was certain she was marked by now and she could only anticipate more hell to endure in the future.

And to further piss on her bonfire, today was the day she was about to get introduced as a new member of the Survey Corps; it was her first day of training as an official member. Things weren't looking so bright for Ida, seeing as how _everyone_ by now already knew of her existence as the redhead who dared dirty Captain's Levi belongings.

She exhaled a loud sigh at her predicament, what on earth was she going to do now?

Somewhere in the large courtyard, Petra Ral caught the Captain responsible for Ida's humiliating experience just as he was about to leave the vicinity. "Captain!"

"What do you want, Petra?" Levi looked even grumpier than usual, and Petra surmised that he was probably still upset that his extremely spotless bed was at risk of contamination from germs and bed bugs.

Petra chuckled nervously in a small attempt to lighten the mood. "You should really cut the newbie some slack, you know?" she suggested lightly, hoping that it'd come off as a suggestion to him. "You sure aren't giving yourself a very nice reputation."

"Reputation means nothing to me," Levi snapped back coolly, turning his back on his subordinate and preparing to leave for training. He caught onto her frown and he elaborated, "She needs to learn quickly if she wants to be a part of my fucking squad."

"Well, don't be so harsh on the rookie," Petra advised as she threw him a knowing look. She sighed softly and she shook her head in disapproval. "Cut her some slack, will you? You saw how she was chained up and bought here like a prisoner. That wasn't a very pleasant experience."

Levi contemplated her advice for a moment but then scowled. "Impudence needs to be beaten out of someone," he grumbled, deciding that there was no way he could ever go easy on a brat that dared to trample on his bed with her filthy boots. "And I never asked for your opinion, Petra."

Instantly, Levi eyed his target from afar, irking him even more. He headed towards where the disgruntled redhead was seated at the very end of the bench by the courtyard. She was watching in silence as the scouts mounted their horses one by one.

"You," he called evenly with a dark frown.

"What do you want?" Ida snapped irritably, before deflating when she saw a fuming arch-browed Levi and added quickly in a soft submissive voice. " _Captain_..."

He clicked his fingers in a motion for her to get up. "Follow me. Try anything, and you won't have any damn teeth by tomorrow," he warned her direly as he led the way towards the large group of assembled soldiers. Levi was still somewhat distrustful and wary of her tendency to disobey orders.

With a resigned sigh, she begrudgingly heeded his command.

The group of assembled soldiers saluted their prized soldier as soon as they saw him. Levi merely gave a stiff nod of acknowledgment. Ida hesitated for a moment or two, nervous about facing these strangers and uncertain as to how she was going to be received.

After a few seconds though, she sucked in a steadying breath and finally trailed Levi to where everyone was gathered. When she slowly stepped up to join everyone else, hanging back just a little so she wouldn't draw too much attention, Levi looked as though he was giving instructions to the group.

_He really does command respect_ , Ida thought bitterly, observing how every scout gazed at him with a mixture of awe and respect. _He really is perfect in their eyes, huh?_

Regardless of her attempt to be inconspicuous, curious stares turned on her as soon as she approached, making her feel self-conscious and vulnerable. Diligently, she maintained an apathetic and bored expression while avoiding eye contact with anyone, trying not to show just how uncomfortable and awkward their scrutiny was making her feel.

It was then that Levi noticed everyone's attention on the newcomer and he promptly dragged her beside him. "She'll be a new member under my squad starting today." He smacked her back roughly and Ida stumbled forward clumsily, her back searing. "Introduce yourself, _brat_."

Several gasps and even chuckles sounded throughout the group. Clearly, they had recognized her either from three days before where she was brought to the headquarters chained like a dog as the rumored skilled mercenary, or they'd witnessed the whole ordeal of her punishment this morning.

Word traveled fast in the legion about the rumored redhead who had managed to piss off Humanity's Strongest Soldier.

"Ida Starke," she spoke loud and clear, keeping her chin up imposingly and her face clear of any emotions. Ida was no stranger to ridicule and belittlement, and she was not about to let these people regard her that way.

" _Starke_? A noblewoman?" she heard someone echoed disgruntledly in the crowd followed by another gossip.

"She probably pulled strings with her relatives to get in Captain Levi's squad. _Tch_ , riding on fame and coming here with the intention of getting special treatment? No wonder Captain Levi punished her so strictly."

_So this is how it is, huh?_ Ida's loose fingers curled into tight fists. It was almost as though the name she was born with condemned her. She would never _belong_ anywhere, her destiny had been carved into stone the moment she was born. Bitter resentment surged through her veins. It was all so utterly _unfair_.

Levi had taken notice of the dark look on the redhead's face beside him and stepped in to cool the situation. "You think a noble brat would waste their time coming here and risking their _precious_ lives fighting for mankind when they could fatten themselves up like a bunch of useless pigs in the Capital?" he challenged, glaring the soldiers into submission and surprising Ida. "She's an _illegitimate_ child. Drill that into your damn skulls."

Her shocked surprise vanished as soon as it came when she heard the word _'illegitimate'_. Awhile she was surprised that he was somewhat defending her, Ida could only glower at Levi, her gaze full of hate and contempt. After the whispering died down, Levi dismissed the group back to their respective squads and signaled his group to retrieve their horses.

" _You_." Ida stormed up to Levi the minute they were out of earshot. She was infuriated beyond reason and her cheeks were flushed with boiling blood. "What gave you the right to tell everyone that I was an illegitimate child?"

Ida Starke hated it, the sins of her name and birth that brought along strings of accusation, contempt, and distaste. It was so unfair, to be judged by people, to be hated and frowned upon before she even had a chance to prove herself. She'd grown up hearing derogatory remarks about her, and as much as she didn't want to admit it, it _affected_ her, even to this day. So even if she knew it was unreasonable, Levi was simply another convenient outlet for her to channel her frustration on.

"You are one, are you not?" Levi countered coldly without a hint of sensitivity, looking even more irritated than usual. "I wasn't lying."

He for one couldn't understand why Ida had taken offense. Levi had defended her back there, he knew what it was like to be scorned upon. The memory of his _'welcome'_ to the Survey Corps years ago was still palpable in his mind. It was then and there that Levi quickly decided Ida was indeed an _ungrateful_ brat.

"I wanted to keep it personal," Ida stated, affected by the indifference streaming out of him.

Levi merely glanced at her with a stoic expression. "Would you rather have them think that you're out for special treatment then? If you insist on keeping your lineage a secret, change your goddamned last name. Don't be coming here and pissing on me when all I did was reveal something they were bound to find out later."

Shoving her aside with a rough knock to the shoulder, Levi took hold of the reins of two well-bred horses from Eld, holding one out to Ida. "Do not go three horses behind me, understood?" he commanded. "You do know how to ride, do you?"

Biting her lower lip, Ida reluctantly snatched the reins from him and snorted loudly, still feeling his words bite into her — she couldn't really blame him, could _she_? In all honesty, she was irritated at herself for not thinking things through, yet still mad at Levi for revealing her past without her permission.

"Don't think because you're Erwin's daughter that I'm going to go easy on you," Levi warned precariously when he noticed her discontent. "This is no place for a princess; so don't expect to receive any special treatment, because I know _who_ you are. This place is all about skills and survival, and if you can't take it, fuck off."

Her teeth gnashed together when he said that. _What did he know about her?_ How was he _so sure_ that she was as incompetent as he made her out to be? Did he know just how _much_ she had been through in the Underground City? How much she had _been_ through her entire life? Princess was certainly the last word she would use to describe herself.

_That's right,_ she told herself bitterly. _No one would ever understand you._

With an unwavering conviction to prove him wrong, she stomped her way in front of him, her face dangerously close to his. "If you're talking about skills, I can assure you that I will take on that challenge any day," she scowled, her voice mocking as she added as an afterthought. "… _sir_."

Knocking into his shoulder as he had with her a few minutes ago, Ida mounted the white stallion assigned to her and pulled on the reins. The horse neighed and reeled underneath her. It was all impulse and blinding bitter anger, and even though she would only inflame her superior's hatred of her, Ida didn't care.

Leveling her gaze with Levi's, she spoke with conviction. "Keep that title in check, Captain. You never know when someone might steal the title of Humanity's Strongest. But, you can't lose to a _girl_ , can you?"

Levi scoffed, a slightly amused expression gracing his expression when she sped off on her horse, leaving behind a cloud of dust.

_That hatred that she harbors for the world…_ _she resents even her own existence,_ he thought conclusively, watching her. _Interesting_.

He quickly mounted his horse and chased after her, muttering underneath his breath. "Fucking brat got some spunk."

An unknowing smirk played on his lips. Levi was never more determined to put the brat in her place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do leave a review and let me know what you think! Any form of critique would be immensely helpful. Have a great day! This chapter is mainly for settling the OC into the canon-verse, more interactions next chapter!
> 
> Thank you to my dear BETA reader: Jikola and ShadowedNara


	3. Special Operation Squad

"Don't get so cocky, _noob_." Oluo Bozado, her assigned teammate, taunted beside her for the fifth time.

He leered towards Ida who remained stoic despite his remarks. "No matter how fucking skilled you think you are and just because Captain Levi was put in charge of supervising you, doesn't mean a _piss-poor_ brat like you—"

Oluo never managed to finish his sentence since he abruptly bit his tongue while talking again. The redhead beside him merely blinked when he heard his yelp of pain and watched impassively as the crimson blood came gushing out of his mouth.

"You were saying, Bozado?" she snarled sardonically, digging her heels in her white horse and speeding off ahead of him.

Ida had just about had enough with Oluo's constant impolite remarks about her. It had been nearly an hour and the man just wouldn't stop. If this were the Underground, Ida could predict things would end up much differently. Malicious thoughts swarmed her mind before she, _horrified_ by what she was thinking, gripped her horse reins tighter and mentally willed those thoughts to fade.

The years of violence and blood in the Underground City had seeped deep into her — without a _second_ thought, she was ready to erase another person's life.

_Disgusting_ , she thought bitterly.

Even after obtaining her dream of living back on the world above and even _after_ being offered a different path in life, Ida still hasn't changed one bit. She clenched her teeth in disgust for herself, realizing that her sins couldn't be wiped off the slate that easily _. What the hell is wrong with me?_ This wasn't the Underground City anymore was it? Things had changed.

The squad came to a resounding halt when they reached their destination deep in the forest. Levi had them settle their horses by the river before turning to the rest of his crew and started barking orders, "Equip your 3D Maneuver Gear and prepare for training."

Marie Clarie, another veteran in Levi's Special Operations Squad, came running up to Ida who had strategically placed herself far away from the rest of the squad.

"Hey! Do you need any help?" she offered politely with a grin.

Ida embraced her grin with a passive look, her tone as drone as it always was. "No thanks, I can handle myself."

"Leave that woman alone Marie," Eld Jinn entered the vicinity with a dark frown. "She thinks she's good enough that she doesn't need to enlist our help."

Eld bore his glowering gaze on the petite redhead, certainly not approving of her. He just didn't understand what Captain Levi saw in her to assign her into the squad, she was certainly nothing special. "Don't be so full of yourself."

"Eld-san, that's really mean of you!" Marie, the blonde girl in pigtails chided her teammate disapprovingly. "We are a team now."

Ignoring them, Ida strapped on her 3D maneuver gear without difficulty. Everything was familiar to her.

For years, she had trained herself in the ways of battle and learned the way to becoming one with the gears. Ida just simply couldn't understand why her squadmates couldn't just leave her alone. Albeit, it would be a lie to say that she didn't expect it coming.

It was only natural for her squadmates not to welcome her with warm open arms. Only the best of the elite was assigned for Levi's Special Operation Squad and it was hard, even for her, to comprehend why a newbie like her was enlisted under the prized Captain's command.

She assumed it was because of her secret ties with the Survey Corps commander, and admittedly, she found herself annoyed with this conclusion. But she was determined to prove herself to be deserving of that role.

The only girls in the squad, Marie and Petra were relatively friendly compared to their male squadmates, but that didn't matter to Ida. She would much prefer to be in solitude, it was far easier this way.

Ida knew _she couldn't risk_ getting too close to them only to have them be torn away mercilessly from her life again. Too many people had Ida witnessed _left_ , too many lives she had _taken_ , too many people could she not _save_. At the end of the day, Ida knew that she was all she count on in this cold and terrifying world.

It was just 'her' and 'everyone else'.

Someone had once told her _'To survive, it's is not necessary to change who you are'_ — but Ida couldn't disagree more. _Just wrong they were_ , she had thought one day. When she'd set out to conquer the horrors of the world, Ida didn't change, change found her.

Her story had been nothing but tragedy after tragedy, and Ida was certainly _not_ ready to submerge herself with people she could potentially lose again.

"Starke!" Petra came running up towards her, already fully set up with her gears.

Ida looked up just in time to see the ginger sprinting towards her just as she fastened the last buckle on her leather straps. "Yes?"

"I'm here to brief you on the objective of our training," chirped Petra Ral with her usual bright smile. "There are wooden Titan forms stationed around the forest and our objective is to find them and—"

Petra never got to finish when Ida cut her off briskly with a cold tone. "I know what to do. Slice them in the neck, right?"

It took her a while to realize that her words came out a little too harshly after she saw Petra's surprised expression and she hastily averted her guilty eyes away.

_Damn it_ , Ida cursed, hating herself.

She didn't really mean to be that harsh and neither did she particularly enjoy rebuffing the warm and kind girl's attempts to be friendly, in fact, Ida was secretly appreciative. As cold and stoic as she might seem, it wasn't as if Ida wasn't capable of feeling remorse.

She was simply too _bitter_ and too _cynical_ to show any other emotions other than anger.

Jason Meerin, a big burly bald man scoffed beside Gunther, glaring intimidatingly at the redhead for her insolence. " _Cocky_ , aren't we? Titans are not as easy to take down as you think it is! Stop acting like this is a damn joke. I can't wait to see if you can keep up that arrogant demeanor of yours when you are killed on your first expedition!"

"Do you know how many soldiers have been killed at the hands of Titans?" Gunther added for good measure, hissing in disdain for the unfazed redhead and aggravated by her indifference. Her cool composure was certainly ticking him off reasonably. "Training isn't the same as actual fighting, you know. You can be killed in seconds if you aren't careful."

Though she felt the sting in her heart at their derogatory response, Ida kept an apathetic expression and stared at them blankly. She refused to show any signs of emotions and acted like it didn't bother her.

But the truth was, it _bothered_ her greatly. More than anyone could ever imagine.

In all honesty, Ida wasn't intending to come off as an arrogant disrespectful prick. She understood that she had the penchant for using rather cold tones with her speech, and perhaps she should've been more careful. But she just wanted to be alone. To just be with herself and her endless thoughts. But since her new squad already had this impression of her and misunderstood her, then _so be it_.

If the _world_ continued to reject her, then she will _reject_ the world.

" _Tch_. We will see who dies first." Ida snapped back in an abysmal tone.

"What?!" Oluo was red-faced when he stormed towards her. "Don't you dare talk to an outranking soldier that way, you _filthy_ piece of shit!"

Without another second to spare and certainly not wanting to stay to listen to any more of their remarks, Ida decided that she was far too tired from her midget's Captain torturous punishment earlier on to even pretend to be listening to them.

Their words can't hurt her; she had been through _worse_ than this. It was better this way anyway. The fewer people she allowed into her heart, the more it wouldn't _hurt_.

In a second, she had shot her grapple into the tree and plunged herself quickly into the dense forest, skillfully maneuvering her way sharply through the trees.

As much as they wouldn't like to admit it, her squadmates found themselves watching the _"novice"_ in astonished awe. Her gear work was absolutely flawless, able to make every sharp turn and move competently with ease. The wind pressed on her cheek roughly as she steadily increased her speed. Ida had always enjoyed using the 3DMG, it was the only time she felt liberated and free.

" _Wow_ , she isn't half as bad. To be able to maneuver through these dense areas like that and even at the sharps turns at that speed…" Marie whistled next to Petra who nodded in agreement

"…She has skills," Marie concluded, her surprised eyes still pinned on the redhead as she skillfully zipped through the forest.

Gunther merely scoffed at that remark and Jason folded his arms haughtily on his chest, "Wait till she goes on her first expedition. Let's see how well she does at a battle on the plains."

Oluo, who was still recovering from his bitten tongue, smirked in a challenge. "You call that skills Petra? I'll show her how _we_ veterans do it then."

Eld Jinn, the second in command of the squad, chuckled at his squad mate's antics. Already in his stance to prepare his launch. "Go easy on the newbie, Oluo," he reminded.

"She's an _idiot_ ," Gunther added on with a shake to his head. "She knows nothing about being a soldier, nor does she have any pride in being one."

With that said, the six comrades shot their grapple to the trees in unison, swinging their way through the dense setting with their gear mechanism. Ida was already far away from them, but she was sure skilled veterans such as themselves could catch up to her in no time.

She was _right_ with her prediction when she heard the sounds of them maneuvering through the trees behind her. It was to be expected after all — they were the elite among the elite, handpicked by the so-called 'Humanity's Strongest' himself. There was _no way_ they would allow themselves to lose to a loudmouth.

However, no one could have imagined the shock on each other faces when they realized that Ida had already slashed every wooden Titan within the near vicinity. Her slashes were so precise, deep and lethal that even Gunther and Jason couldn't help but grin in amusement.

This would be a _challenge_ , they decided.

As much as the boys didn't want to admit it, Ida lived up to her reputation as being the skilled mercenary in the underground. For the next hour or so, a fierce battle raged in the forest, each aiming to earn a score with every mark on the wooden Titan's' nape.

Unfortunately, the newbie wasn't as incompetent as they had thought. Somehow, Ida had managed to tie the score with both Oluo and Eld, two of the most skilled soldiers in the Special Operations Squad.

The men have clearly underestimated her, but Eld and Oluo weren't backing down anytime soon. Over the past years, they have worked up sweat and blood to get to the position they are in today — there was no way that _she_ was going to win.

"Get the last score Oluo!" Eld shouted fiercely as he made a sharp turn by the trees, his razor-sharp blades shining as the bright sunlight kissed it.

Oluo instantly screamed back in response, "Of course! Who the _hell_ do you think I am, you little shit!"

With a determined gleam to his eyes, he turned to look at the redhead who was several meters away from him, her face as calm and as bored as ever as the wind pressed on her face. This irked him even more. " _Tsk_ , look at that stinking brat!"

"That Titan is mine!" Oluo declared as let out a loud warrior's cry, charging speedily and zipping his way over. He didn't miss the narrowed eyes of Ida when he passed her and the smirk on her lips as she took on the challenge.

"What the hell?!" He heard Eld cry behind him out of a sudden.

Confused, Oluo took a second to glance behind him just in time to see an astonished expression on his comrade's face. Moving his vision to where Eld was staring at, Oluo could only gasp in shock when he saw that Ida had already overtaken him.

Ida snickered triumphantly to herself, clutching onto her blade tightly. She could see the target clearly now, it was mere meters away from her.

Heartbeat accelerating, Ida thought back to how much she had suffered in the past four years. She had been through brutal hell, physically and psychologically. She knew what her comrades were thinking; they _looked down_ on her and they didn't think she could do it.

She was an inferior and incompetent newbie not worthy of being in their squad.

But that was all going to change now, she was going to prove to them that she was strong now. _Strong_ enough to even take on the Titans that could make any brave soldier shiver in fear — she wasn't the same girl in the past anymore, that girl had long died.

A new conviction burned within Ida as she tightened her grip on her blades in preparation for a lethal slash and she lifted them in the air, ready to strike the nape of the wooden Titan's neck and secure her victory when…

_**BAM!** _

A sudden, dynamic force sent her plunging to the direction of the trees. Ida landed on the harsh surface of the tree bark with a loud thud and she groaned in agony, and as if to sprinkle glitter on her misery, she lost her footing on her branches and fell, thumbing down the branches as each hit threatened to leave another ugly bruise.

Luckily for her, she landed on a pile of bushes, cushioning the impact of fall.

Ida groaned in searing agony. Her back was hurting and she felt like all her bones had been dislocated. Finding the strength to push herself up, she hissed loudly in pain, rubbing her throbbing forehead.

_"VICTORY!"_

Ida's eyes widened in realization when she heard that triumph declaration and she snapped her head up to see Eld and Oluo high-fiving each other. Hastily, she moved her gaze to the nape of the wooden Titan and found the missing piece on the wooden nape glaring back at her as if to insult her further.

_Just what the hell happened?_ Ida clenched her teeth together roughly in bitter defeat and staggered her way clumsily out of the thorny bush, bruised and bleeding.

As though to answer her questions, the reason for her failure appeared, dropping gracefully from the air right in front of her. Immediately, Ida's forest-green eyes sparked with immense blazing fury in recognition.

Without a second to waste, Ida charged towards him accusingly. "Did you _do_ that?"

"Did what?" was Levi's unfazed and calm response, escalating her anger even more. He swept the imaginary dust off his green cloak, cocking his eyebrow up when he saw how pissed she looked. "Oh, you mean the one who _kicked_ your fat ass out of the way?"

Ida's eyes twitched. She simply couldn't believe the amount of indifference he emitted! Never in her entire life had Ida had never met someone as cocky and chauvinistic as him, "We can't attack each other! That is the rule, _isn't_ it?!"

"You truly are a genuine dimwit," Levi stated flatly, his expression dull and bored as though he found it a hassle to even speak to her. "The trainees can't attack each other, but I, as _your_ Captain, am your trainer. I thought you knew what to do since you dismissed Petra's help when she _'briefed'_ you on the training."

Ida could easily detect the underlying sarcasm brimming from his tone and her anger thrashed deep inside her, shaking her to the core. She flushed bright red, embarrassed at her backfired confidence, but yet still insanely outraged at Levi for playing around with her.

Was he trying to teach her a lesson now?

Ida clenched her fist tightly, knuckles paling. "You cocky bastard…"

Her red hair was braided to the side and her fine baby strands were sticking onto her forehead in a thin layer of sweat. Her face flushed as she panted and winched from her injuries, but her face was one of deep hatred.

Levi observed her for a moment longer, deep in contemplation, before he scoffed irritably and explained himself.

"You might be a little skilled, but you allow your confidence to blind you. If you weren't _so_ concentrated on winning in the first place, you could've easily detected my attack. But you were _too_ confident of your skills and you paid the shitty price." Moving forward, he pinned her with an indescribable glare, "In expeditions where Titans _butcher_ our subordinates like prey and display unpredictable behavior, you can never be too confident. If you were to act the way you are now…"

Levi's face was inches away from her now, jabbing her with a heated steel-edged glare. He etched forward and spoke grimly just inches away from her earlobe, "You would be fucking _dead_ in a snap."

She kept her silence, each word reverberating deep into her. Levi merely absorbed her balance anger with an apathetic countenance. "The difference between us and you is experience. Remember that if you want to live."

Ida clenched her jaw tightly and looked away in defeat and humiliated when she heard that. She could feel his gaze burn into her almost threateningly, almost as though he was disappointed and annoyed at her behavior.

"Go to the medic and tend to your injuries," Levi stated quickly, noticing that she was bleeding but he felt no remorse. He had quickly decided that Ida needed to learn the hard way, it was the _only_ way she was going to survive. "We'll be commencing training on the plains where 3DMG would be at a disadvantage later and I expect you _not_ to make the same mistakes again, cadet."

**o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o**

Cool wind, warm sunlight and the grass beneath his boots. It felt absolutely liberating to be out on the plains again instead of that wretched office he had always cooped himself in.

From afar, Erwin Smith spotted his target sitting idly on one of the benches, staring at the scouts across the plains with intense boredom and impatience. Following his gaze, Erwin's attention was caught by a certain redhead trailing a good distance behind her new squad.

Commander Erwin Smith approached the Captain as he idly sipped on his tea from a flask Petra had packed. "Training seems to be going well," he commented perceptively catching the attention of Levi. "Taking a break now?"

"Before the next shitty joint exercise," Levi deadpanned, not even turning his gaze to meet him. "Never thought you would assign the shitty task of training the new recruits for the Survey Corps to me as well."

"Despite her age, she is also a new recruit, I thought it was best to kill two birds with one stone," Erwin explained monotonously. "She's placed in a new squad with some of the most experienced veterans, she might be more comfortable being with the newcomers."

Levi snorted, showing just how laughable he thought Erwin's statement was. "That moody brat wouldn't even care about making friends, and she's far above the league of a damn teenager recruit, Erwin."

Erwin turned to look at him with curiosity. "What's the report?"

With an affirmed nod when Erwin's eyes provoked a response, Levi merely acknowledged his superior with another a brief glance before diverting his gaze to the training field by the distance, his glare seemingly intensified when he caught sight of Ida.

"She's inexperienced, but her strength is unquestionable," he submitted his report in a monotone and quirked a brow. "What are you doing here, anyway? Worried I'd be too _harsh_ on her?"

Erwin thought over it for a moment and shook his head. "I trust your decisions," he admitted, but when Levi's frown demanded him to speak the truth, he complied.

"…Though I have to admit, it really surprised me when you offered to place her under your squad," he commented smoothly, settling on the space beside Levi. "She reminds me of you when you first joined the Survey Corps. _Skilled_ , but unrefined and uncontrollable."

Levi's expression turned into a scowl. "I don't know what you're thinking, Erwin. But whatever it is, wipe it off your brain. I didn't take her under my wing because she resembles me. It was because I felt that it was the best choice. We need more skilled soldiers in the legion — my decision was for mankind," he stated, his hooded eyes looking as bored as ever.

However, when Erwin smirked and gave him a knowing look. Levi frowned. _No,_ he did not feel empathetic towards Ida Starke. In fact, he found her a hindrance. Though that statement sounded half-hearted even to himself.

"Plus, sending your Commander's daughter to prison is a shitty idea that only an idiot would do," Levi added for good measure and shrugged idly.

Erwin looked almost amused and he chuckled dryly, knowing Levi too well to take offense. "But she does, doesn't she?" he pressed on.

" _Tch_." Levi lifted his teacup to his lips. "I don't ever remember being like _that_. She's a complete shitty brat. She thinks far too highly of herself. If she goes on expeditions with that mindset, there's a high chance that she wouldn't be returning at all."

Levi could understand her hatred, her never-ending resentment for everyone and everything, including herself. That was something that had become glaringly clear to Levi. He had experienced it before, that vicious _rage_ for the world. But Levi knew that he could manipulate Ida's anger and direct it towards a more productive cost. Perhaps, one day she'd even be a _valuable_ asset to humanity.

"She's worrying, isn't she?" Erwin smiled thinly, nodding to himself understandably. He had expected it, her _mother_ was a handful as well. "Anyhow, don't be too harsh on her. Tune it down a little. I heard from Eld what you did."

The Captain did not appreciate his meddling. "Playing protective daddy now, Erwin? If she's under my squad, let me train her my way," Levi barked back saucily which made Erwin revert back to his apathetic expression.

Levi exhaled sharply, looking away from him. "Her mother…" he said quickly, finally breaching the subject he had been so hesitant to bring up. Erwin froze and turned to look at him with raised eyebrows.

"I heard it from that brat..." Levi continued in a deadpan. "She's _dead_."

Erwin's features held an indescribable expression when he heard that, but he decided not to skirt around the subject any longer. Levi was bound to question him about it sooner or later.

"I'm aware."

With a sideways glance, Levi thought over it before deciding his curiosity outweighed his concerns.

"Who was she?" he inquired briskly. "I know you have a damned pig-list of nobility that you greet occasionally and curry favors with so that they will invest in the Survey Corps… So what, did you knock someone from that shitty pig-list up?"

Erwin knew he was referring to his blue-blooded 'friends' that he had. Occasionally, Erwin would greet them and befriend them in hopes that they would generously invest in the Survey Corps and keep the legion afloat. Oftentimes they did. He understood that he needed the support of the nobility as his allies to counteract the other nobles who were always pressing for the disbandment of the Survey Corps.

As demeaning as it was to scrape for favors, its this way of politics that Erwin had been able to successfully maintain the legion.

"No…" Erwin admitted, clasping his hand together. His voice was unyielding as he spoke, "Her mother was the one who taught me how to manipulate the nobility actually."

" _Tch_ ," Levi scoffed, unamused. "As little interest as I have for those shitty pigs, even I know that the Starkes is one of the richest and most powerful noble houses within the Walls. And I know that those damned pigs from that house are always egging for the disbandment of the Survey Corps."

"She was different from her family," Erwin voiced flatly and there was not a trace of memory in his voice.

"So why did you leave them?" Levi couldn't help but pry further. Though he knew it was a sensitive subject, he was sure Erwin didn't mind. "You knew about Ida's existence, didn't you?"

"As you said, the Starkes is undeniably one of the most powerful houses. And Elsie was part of that glorious lineage, whereas I was nothing more than trainee soldier," Erwin stated bluntly. "It was _never_ going to work out for us."

Looking away, Erwin focused his attention on the scouts. "…Even back then, I aspired to be a Commander, I had dreams and ambitions. I couldn't even fathom the thought of having a family while being out on expeditions all the time. So I did what was best. Her mother decided that I was never to be involved in her life."

_So in the end, Erwin still valued duty over his own family_ , Levi concluded silently, secretly surprised that he actually felt disappointed by Erwin's answer. What was he expecting? Erwin was the same as him after all — a soldier who sacrificed _everything_ they had for mankind.

"You didn't know she was cast out to live in Shiganshina District?" Levi raised a brow, surprised.

Erwin Smith shook his head slowly, his expression unreadable and his eyes distant. "…When I found out, it was too late. Wall Maria had fallen. I had assumed they died when the Wall fell until I heard of Ida one day when I was in the Underground City..."

If circumstances hadn't deterred them, perhaps things might have been _different_ now. He would've found Ida earlier and maybe even save her from experiencing such hardship. Things could've been different.

However, Erwin Smith was not one to sulk in regrets, what is done is done. There's no going back.

"You could've explained to her you know," Levi suggested flatly, going back to drinking his tea. "That shitty brat practically hates your guts. She'd happily feed you to the Titans the first chance she gets."

"No," Erwin spoke firmly, his fingers intertwining with each other. He looked vulnerable and despaired for a second, his Commander facade cracking for a brief moment before he hurriedly sealed them back together. "Let her see me as am I. It's for the best. For both of us."

Levi scanned his stoic Commander for a moment, before shrugging his shoulders and looking away, "If that is what you think is the best, do whatever the hell you want. It's not my problem anyway."

After a short, comfortable and companionable silence, both men had their gazes glued on the redhead who awkwardly stood by the side of her squad as she stared impassively at the scenery around her.

Erwin stood up, patting Levi by the shoulder, "Take care of her. I'm leaving her in your care. Cut her some slack."

"Stop pleading for her damn benefit, Erwin. It's disgusting." Levi angled himself away from his touch, frowning deeply as he grumbled. "I'm going to show her just _what_ it takes to survive as a soldier and the reality of just how cruel this shitty world really is," he declared, though Levi had an inkling Ida already knew.

Erwin smiled faintly and nodded once in understanding. "From what I can see, I'm satisfied with knowing how much you are worried about her."

"You misunderstand me," Levi shot back smoothly, not liking Erwin's tone. "She's not getting any special treatment from me just because she's your daughter. I plan to knock her off her damn high horse, that damn shitty brat needs to learn. The hard way."

The blonde chuckled knowingly, "Of course, and that is _exactly_ why I trust you."

**o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o**

The next training session was a joint exercise, Petra Ral had kindly explained to her, and this time Ida listened intently. The last thing she wanted was to get chewed out and embarrassed by Levi again for her foolishness. Petra had elaborated that the Special Operation Squad would be training with the freshly enlisted Survey Corps recruits.

"It's odd don't you think?" Gunther pointed out to his comrades. His lips were tightly pressed together. "To think that we would be having a joint exercise with the new recruits…"

"Who knows what Commander Erwin is thinking," Eld replied calmly, throwing a fleeting glance at the bunch of unfamiliar teenagers that had just enlisted into the Survey Corps. "In any case, it's a good experience for them to watch and learn from us."

"Maybe Commander Erwin wants to show them the might of the Survey Corps veterans!" Oluo declared haughtily. He nodded to himself, satisfied with his remark before he leered towards the stoic redhead again. "You heard that you stinking brat?! You're just like those newbie teenagers, still a fresh brat in her diapers!"

Ida grimaced and was just about to shoot back a snarky retort when Petra smacked the back of Oluo head unceremoniously. "Oluo! I've told you before! Stop harassing her and stop with that manner of speech, it's getting annoying!"

" _Heh_ , Petra trying to reign me in? If you want to act like my wife, there's a couple of steps you've skipped," Oluo commented suavely, wriggling his brow, to which Petra smacked the back of his head again before she launched into an indignant filled berate session.

Ida exhaled loudly, already getting used to the couple's antics and dragged her bored-like gaze away. She found herself curiously observing the new recruits situated a few paces away from them. They were much younger than her; teenagers with a face that didn't know violence or the misery of the cruel world yet. Ida thought it was rather laughable that these innocent teenagers would voluntarily want to venture beyond the Walls to kill Titans, it was hard to even think of them as being ready to face the gruesome fatalistic images that Titans bring.

_No,_ she thought inwardly, disagreeing with Oluo. She was _nothing_ like them.

"I heard that Captain Levi would be taking the joint training exercise!" A new recruit announced excitedly to his friend beside him. "He's Humanity's Strongest! I can't believe we get to train under him so quickly!"

"Yeah!" His friend agreed chirpily. "We need to do our very best! if he likes what he sees, we could even be up for a promotion! Climbing up the ladder quickly would be a piece of cake!"

Ida frowned imperceptibly as she listened in on their conversation. _Why?_ She couldn't for her life of her understand what anyone saw in Levi Ackerman, so why was it that everyone only had great things to say about him? Was it because he was strong? So strong that he could inspire awe and admiration from even the newest recruits? He had to be influential as well if he could even influence how fast one was promoted in the Survey Corps. Frankly, all Ida could discern from the past three days was that disagreeable midget had an unhealthy habit with cleaning. But then again, Ida was reminded of how fast he had managed to kick her mid-air.

So _fast_ that she even didn't see him coming.

She peered surreptitiously at her new squad members, deep in contemplation. Even if she was holding back at their previous training session, Ida had to admit that they were pretty formidable in their own right as well. If Levi could inspire even people like them to follow him, just how _strong_ was he?

Maybe… he is even _stronger_ than she was?

Her heart skipped a beat as she thought about that.

Ida knew for a fact that she was strong, perhaps even _different_ from the average human. If there was one thing she was ever confident in, it was in her skills. Her years surviving in the harsh Underground City proved that. The countless battles she fought, the numerous lives she stolen, the cries of the fallen who failed to escape her fury… Ida was often even told that she was on an unmatchable league even from the average soldiers even above the Walls.

But for some reason beyond her Levi Ackerman made her feel uneasy. The way he looked at her, his gaze colored with prejudice and contempt as if he was so confident of taking her down... It _stirred_ something inside of her.

Jason Meerin sighed beside a stoic Ida, also catching onto the new recruit's talks. He shifted to his comrades idly. "All they care about is their own stupid gain," he voiced bitterly. "Captain is going to be pissed."

"Why?" Ida couldn't help but ask. "Isn't it natural for one to think about advancing through the ranks?"

At her inquiry, Eld heaved a sigh, his bright eyes watching her with a mixture of contempt and exasperation. "Like I said… you still have a lot to learn, Starke. There's more to a soldier's merits than just rank."

"Yeah, idiot!" Oluo barked at her incredulously, his features twisted in a despicable scowl. "You've got a lot to learn! You should start by fucking respecting your superiors! Don't forget that I have the highest kill count!"

"Moron," Eld grumbled and exhaled sharply at Oluo's antics. He shook his head before he threw another definitive glance towards Ida and heaved another maddening breath as if she was simply hopeless.

She pressed her lips together, trying desperately to reign in her tongue at his blatant display of disdain. Thankfully, before her irate personality could clamor out of her attempted maturity, Levi appeared at the fields fully equipped with his gears. The new recruits' excited murmurs died down when Levi shot a heat-filled glare towards their direction.

At his sudden appearance, Ida watched him carefully — this man that was the strongest.

His gray eyes were on the small side, as if afraid to let the light in, but they held a haunting look that spoke of the unyielding determination he harbored. His mouth was small and rigid as if only used for the sort of smirks that masked cruelty, perhaps born of a lifetime of suspicion. Even though he was short in stature, Levi made up for it with an aura that emitted a special kind of superiority that radiates condescension and contempt. Even the way he carried himself spoke of volumes — a strong rigid back that told tales that no books had a spine to carry.

Ida's features were insipid when she realized how different he looked compared to how he was back in the headquarters with his cleaning outfit. Why hadn't she noticed this before? He looked so confident, so determined and set on his purpose. So... full of life…

And so painfully _unlike_ her.

"This damn exercise would be about how to battle Titans on the open plains," Levi explained monotonously; his expression bored-like and vacant. "3DMG has limited mobility on open plains, but Titans don't give a shit about that — oftentimes, we scouts are required to battle them on open fields."

He turned to the direction of his squad. "Eld."

Eld Jinn immediately poised every muscle rigidly at his call and scurried towards the wooden Titan on the fields. He grabbed the rope that was tied to the mechanism and started piloting the wooden Titan around, simulating a turning Titan.

"Watch," Levi stated impassively as he plugged a set of razor-sharp blades to the hilt of his handgrips.

A loud sound of sharp metal rubbing together in friction echoed when he extracted the blades, and before Ida could even prepare herself for the scene, her Captain had already launched himself mid-air with his gears.

Swift, incredibly fast, and lethal.

His gear work was astoundingly flawless, precise and deadly. Levi Ackerman was only a dull blur as he swirled himself mid-air like a dancing rapier, and slashed the nape of the moving wooden Titan before he landed back on the ground with ease. It had only been a few seconds, and Ida couldn't actually believe how fast, accurate and lethal his movements were.

A wry smirk crept up on her lips when Ida formed the conclusion that he was on a different _league_ from the average human as well. It was interesting, indeed.

The new recruits gasped and cheered at the sight of his flawless gearwork in unison. Meanwhile, Levi's trademark scowl was starting to emerge on his visage and he looked terribly annoyed at the sounds generated.

"Pair up," Levi commanded with an air of condescension, sheathing back his blade. "One of you move the mechanism, the other attempt to slice the nape. Take turns and don't generate too much noise while you're at it."

"Go there, brat," Oluo suddenly said and nudged her towards the group of the new recruits with a hard push on her back. "You should go with the rest of the shitty newbies."

Ida turned to glare at him, but before she could even part her lips to speak, Marie Clarie had sensed the escalating tension and laced her arm around her and tugged her away. "Pair up with me Starke!"

"Oh…" Ida murmured, stunned and silently grateful for the girl's kindness. "Sure, thanks…"

"Hey! You should stop pampering that shitty brat, Marie!" Oluo shouted at her, but Marie only ignored him as she continued to drag Ida away.

"Don't be so angry at them," Marie suggested with a kind warm tone when they were at a suitable distance away from the rest of their squad. "Oluo is a loudmouth, but he is a good comrade. His bark is worse than his bite!"

"Yeah, I get it," Ida drawled in her customary bitterness. "New girl who did nothing get promoted to the Special Operation Squad — of course, they wouldn't trust or accept me."

Marie's lip twisted into a nervous smile. "They are all just… Uhm… _wary_ of you. The bonds that the Special Operation Squad has are… pretty special, we trust and rely on each other. That's how we are able to last so long — how we are all able to survive beyond the Walls. It's a cruel world out there, and _trust_ is the only thing that allows us to survive together."

_You're wrong_ , Ida wanted to argue, but she thought it wiser to keep silent. _The world is cruel and merciless within the Walls too._ _I too had people I trusted and relied on, but where are they all now? Why was I the only survivor left standing?_

_In this cruel world, only the powerful survive._

All one needed is _power_.

"I don't know how it was like for you..." Marie pressed on in an effort to create a conversation. She turned her gaze to her, swift and emanating with resigned sympathy. "...but living in an Underground City has to be pretty tough, huh?"

"It was shitty," Ida remarked sullenly, disliking the turn of conversation. She didn't want to talk about her past. Her wary green eyes narrowed to suspicious slits as she observed Marie. "Are you sure you want to pair up with me?"

"Of course," Marie's eyes beamed, and her warm smile was a blessing. "After all, you're part of our squad now. It's only fitting that the veterans of the Survey Corps look after and guide the newer members!"

At her cheery declaration, Ida pursed her lips and nodded.

Training with Marie went on without a hitch, and while Ida had suspiciously wondered if Marie was intending to pull a prank on her, she found out that the girl had no ill-intentions. At this discovery, she started to feel a twinge of guilt crept up her chest — she had heartlessly thought otherwise of Marie's genuine well intentions.

But it wasn't fifteen minutes into training when arguments started to break out among the newer recruits.

"What the hell? It's all your fault! Why did you have to move the wooden Titan so quickly?! Are you sabotaging me, Fleuner?!"

"Get real!" Another recruit barked back hotly. "You're the one who couldn't even maneuver properly!"

"I did all the work! You're just trying to make me look bad in front of Captain Levi, aren't you?!"

"Enough!" Levi shouted indignantly, immensely annoyed. Immediately, the arguments died down and a stunned silence played as everyone looked at him nervously. He glowered darkly at the scouts before he scoffed. "Training's over."

The recruits were appalled. "B — But, sir! We only just got started!"

"You're dismissed all of you, get out of my sight," Levi growled with finality. At the sight of the ferocious glare emitting from the intimidating man, the recruits clamped their mouth shut and held their heads low in defeat.

A squint furrowed Ida's brow as she observed the situation. Marie exhaled loudly beside her, shaking her head. "Well… We've all expected it..." she said plainly. "Come on Starke, let's head back to the barracks."

"Expected what?" Ida questioned snappily, a plethora of irritation hitting her. "That stupid midget is being a dick. If he was entrusted with taking the training session, he should've seen it through to the damn end… Seriously, ending the training just like that…"

Bitter at the turns of events, Ida stowed away her blades and glared at the retreating back of her Captain. She had been looking forward to the training session, training was the only thing that could keep her distracted enough from her bitter thoughts.

"They just wanted to impress him, there's nothing wrong about that," she told Marie in a defiant tone.

Marie clapped a hand on her shoulder assuringly. "There'll be other training sessions. Captain Levi is just..." she paused to formulate the right words before she continued. "...fed up with everyone trying to impress him. What the newbies should be learning is how to cooperate with each other."

Clearly not listening to Marie's well-intentioned advice, Ida shrugged her hands off her and in a moment of impetuousness, she stormed towards the retreating Captain with a confrontational attitude.

"Are you seriously just ending the training just like that?" Ida stopped him. Levi turned around calmly to face her, unfazed from the venom dripping in her tone. Her expression was cold and full of stubbornness. "They're just brats, they worked so hard to impress you, and you just suddenly decided to drop the training session because of an argument that kids made?"

Levi matched her hard distasteful glare the moment her statement was made. He advanced towards her with an aura of superiority, and he stopped when his face was just inches from her. "Do you remember what happened when the fucking Walls was breached, Starke?"

She frowned at his sudden question. "Of course—"

"You know _what_ happens," Levi cut through her sentence pointedly. "The same fucking shit is going to happen outside the Walls where these same brats want to venture out to. Things like trying to _advance_ up the ranks, trying to _prove_ themselves to people who don't give a shit…"

Ida knew for a fact that those words were meant for her as well and she felt as though he had slapped her when he said that.

Levi bored down at her with unreadable dark gray eyes and he snarled irately at her. "...It's fucking sickening."

His words had an air of finality to them and Ida knew that no matter how much she railed against it, she would not change his mind. When she didn't reply, an expression of some sort flashed over Levi's normally impassive face: anger, annoyance, as well as a tiny bit of _sorrow_ , it seemed. Ida caught it, and guilt crept up in her chest. Her countenance, however, remained unbearably impassive — she would not yield to him.

With another incredulous scoff, Levi turned his heel sharply and walked away.

The sight of him retreating ignited her anger again, and she was just about to chase after him when Marie came from behind her and held her back.

"Don't," she advised calmly. "Captain just means well. These new recruits will face hell when they go on their new expedition, they should learn to work together in teams. He just wants everyone to survive."

"Starke," Petra walked towards them, concern inhibiting her hazel orbs. She smiled placatingly at the redhead who looked as though she was about to explode. "Captain has his way of handling things, don't get too mad."

With a firm grit to her teeth, she snapped her gaze to the two women beside her.

"Why are you two so nice to me?" Ida demanded suddenly, finally asking the question that she wanted to ask for while now. "The rest of the squad thinks I'm a stupid spoilt brat, why do you two bother with me anyway?"

"Well…" Petra looked at Marie for support, before she returned her gaze back to her. " _Haha_ , I know you can't really help it. It's not like we're not used to your way of speech and mannerism, you know? Captain is from the Underground City too. He was born there."

Shock of the greatest kind flooded Ida, and momentarily, she was stumped. Just as she came to terms with this startling revelation, another influx of emotions hit her, only this time, Ida felt a rising irritation within her.

" _Tch_. Just because he is the strongest he thinks he is all that," Ida spat in an abysmal tone, shrugging Marie's grip away from her and stormed towards the other direction. "Just leave me alone."

When she was finally a good distance from the training field, Ida's dull green eyes watched her surroundings. A gust of sudden cool wind flew past her and she shivered, it almost as if it was chastising her for being so rude to Marie and Petra. Ida ignored it. She was surprised that she even had a conscience anymore after what she had gone through. A wry smile crept up to her lips.

As the memory of what occurred faded into the backdrop of her mind, the liveliness and chaos of her surroundings also faded. Ida arrived at a secluded part of the training fields and she slowed down her pace. She let out a sigh and stopped.

Ida slowly closed her eyes.

Now that she had thought about it maybe she shouldn't have been so… _antagonistic_ towards Levi. She knew innately that he was _right_ , that he had meant well. But he was irritating. Perfect, revered, respected, naturally-talented, strong and he looked as though he always knew what to say and do. He cared about his comrades and he surely had the strength to protect them. Apart from his aggravating cleaning habits, Levi was undoubtedly perfect in her eyes.

The perfect _survivor_ in this cruel world.

And because of that, Levi was everything Ida was not.

She was sullen and rude, weak and pathetic. The dislikable cynical one who had no noble dreams of honor. The one who always failed to see the bigger picture. Even though she was skilled, she knew innately that she was a _failure_ regardless.

Like him, Ida seldom smiled and scowled constantly, was easily irritated and rather anti-social, but in some way, Levi had gained the respect of everyone.

To top it off, Ida had just learned that he was from the Underground City as well and she felt as though Petra had punched her in the face when she divulged this information.

_Why_? Why on earth were they so different?

Surely this man had done things… _Incorrigible_ things that goes against all the ethics and morals that society dictates… It was the only way to live in that rat hole of the Underground City; to kill or be killed.

And when one submerges themselves in the abyss for so long, they emerge nothing but a monster.

Levi's hands were probably just like hers: stained scarlet. Surely he was beyond redemption like her as well. Surely he had sins were immeasurable as well. Surely he was ridden with guilt and an insatiable hatred for himself and the cruel world as well.

But they didn't look to be the case.

Levi looked as if he was so full of life; the hero, the altruistic one, with a determined gaze that spoke of noble righteous dreams. He wanted to continue to live, to continue fighting, while Ida was the frighteningly empty one, beyond redemption, with a sharp paranoid perception like tainted hooks, and have little to no will to live in this cruel world.

Most of the results of her persona had been a direct effect of what she had gone through. Ida was sure if Wall Maria hadn't fallen, had her mother Elsie Starke, still been alive, she would've turned out differently.

But this man… this so-called strongest, Ida was certain he didn't have a great history as well. Not when he was born in the Underground City. It was foolish, it was immature, but Ida had thought her tragic past was an excuse for her bitter cynical attitude, but she couldn't justify it now can she?

Not when Levi Ackerman embodied the living proof that your past was not an excuse. Perhaps the problem lies within her after all, perhaps she was the one who was _wrong_.

And because Levi was so perfect, the spiteful Ida decided that she _hated_ him more than anything.

She wanted to see him _fall_.

She opened her eyes and stared at the new recruit trainees in the field far away from her. They were sullenly traipsing back to the barracks, clearly dejected over their dismissal.

Ida gritted her teeth in anger for herself and her fingers curled into loose fists.

Oluo was right after all. She was just like them, a fresh brat still in her diapers. She knew nothing, and perhaps she was so blinded by hatred and relentless agony that she couldn't see the bigger picture.

With a loud exhale, Ida turned around to find Petra and Marie. She supposed she should start with an apology first, her conscience was starting to eat into her and it was restless.

**o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o**

Hanji Zoe had known Levi Ackerman for years. She had met Humanity's Strongest on his first expedition, back when he was just an uncontrollable thug blackmailed by Erwin into joining the Survey Corps. Even back then, Hanji knew he was special, or in a more frank term, _odd_. She had never met anyone with his flawless skills set or anyone like him for that matter. Especially with that brash and unapproachable personality that seemed to intimidate almost everyone, and that odd tendency that demanded everything to be spotless.

Until a relatively similar form of Levi appeared in front of her eyes years later, as talented and confident he once was, and equally similar in their unsociable demeanor. However, Ida was far more erratic and prone to outburst — as though she herself didn't know how to control her destructive emotions.

Still, the Titan Scientist could not deny the resemblance.

_Was it because they both came from the Underground_?

Curious for the answer, Hanji decided that these two would be the subject of her new study.

However, what Hanji couldn't comprehend — no matter how much she cracked her genius brain — was the reason why Levi and Ida couldn't exchange eye contact without aggravating each other to their wit's end.

It was general knowledge in the Survey Corps that Levi was extremely difficult to get along with. His preference for a solidarity lifestyle was well known and taken to heart. Though he was undoubtedly the strongest soldier, Levi lacked teamwork and was often seen parading around with a grumpy scowl that never seemed to cease. Not afraid to harshly berate anyone who sparked his wrath, this has caused him to have a strained relationship with many of his subordinates.

Ida was no different from her Captain, preferring to isolate herself and avoid conversations as much as possible — but she avoided interactions as though she was _afraid_ of humans.

From the reports that Hanji saw when she peeked at Erwin's desk, she had immense potential. Everyone who had witnessed her training knew she was an outstanding soldier, and anyone who experienced her temper knew that she was a force to be reckoned with.

But no matter how similar they were, it looked to Hanji Zoe that they couldn't stop the urge to lunge for each other's throats the moment they caught sight of each other, and it was causing an uncomfortable tension in the legion.

It has been two weeks since Ida Starke had officially joined Survey Corps.

Levi had officially declared war when he made her scrub every staircase in the headquarters with a tiny toothbrush — and not to mention giving her _intentional_ disadvantages during her training — since then, Ackerman and Starke were like oil and water; opposing each other so often that it caused laughable spectacles all over the headquarters.

Hanji had to give credit to Ida's resolve. The redhead had endured many punishments; from polishing boots to cleaning the entire headquarters to doing the entire legion's laundry. She even went two days without meals for daring to oppose her ruthless Captain.

But it seemed to Hanji that Ida was determined to win this war; not backing down despite knowing she was at the losing end.

In fact, the pair was so incompatible that it appeared that the two couldn't even accomplish a simple task together…

...and the night's event started when Levi had yet again decided that her cleaning just wasn't up to his standards.

"This won't do," Levi stated tonelessly, his hand slamming down on the table she was sitting at. The table trembled at the sudden impact, but Ida merely continued chewing on her bun, looking straight ahead. "Go redo the meeting room."

"No," Ida stated unyieldingly as if she wasn't even conscious of the glowering superior hovering over her. In fact, she didn't even regard the man. "I won't. Go do it yourself."

Levi narrowed his hooded eyes, his eyebrow twitching at her blunt defiance. "For a useless brat like you, you really do possess the intelligence of a pissin' Titan."

Her eyes flashed as she replied harshly. "For such a revered soldier like as yourself, you really do have an annoying need for cleanliness. Has anyone ever told you that, sir?"

"Get out of here and get it done. _Now_." Levi scowled fiercely, not backing down. "I should've known a spoilt noble capital brat like you don't even possess the _capacity_ for listening to simple fucking orders."

Ida finally turned her head and regarded him with defiant eyes. "Why should I? The room was already cleaned."

His hooded eyes narrowed dangerously. He seethed, "Don't you dare go there, Starke."

Hanji Zoe bit back a laugh, watching in amusement as the two battled it out mercilessly. She did admit that Levi's uncanny need for everything to be sparkling clean could get out of hand, but seeing someone so openly defiant to his orders and putting him down was a sight to behold.

"Man…" Petra Ral breathed beside Hanji, tapping the end of her fork on her cheek as she watched the Levi ruthlessly curse of a line of insulting swears. "At first I thought that she would submit after enduring so many lectures and punishment. But just look at them go."

"I know!" Hanji yelped excitedly, trying — and failing — to hold in her badly hidden grin. She was certainly enjoying the spectacle unfolding in front of her. It wasn't every day that she saw Levi being opposed.

"Not even the bravest soldiers could stand their ground when facing the powerful and intimidating scowling Levi, but she is on a whole other level," Hanji cradled her face in with her hands and sighed wistfully in awe. "It's _fascinating_."

Ida Starke had lost the war when she breached a serious protocol of insubordination, letting her frustration got the better of her. "Look, _sir_ , no one really gives a pissing shit about your damn needs for everything to be clean."

Which in turn, earned her another loud curse-filled reprimand session in front of everyone in the mess hall.

Hanji watched attentively as Ida fell strangely silent and she lowered her head in resignation as Levi finally started raising his voice. _Colorful_ words spilled from his mouth when he issued another backbreaking punishment of cleaning the legions' stables.

Just as the entire troop in the mess hall tensed up in anticipation, they released their held breaths when the vicious battle between the seasoned veteran and the amateur died down. However, just when everyone thought it was finally over, emerald eyes flashed with malicious intent and Ida, finally having enough of the unjust treatment _threw_ the bun she was holding at him, hitting him squarely on his forehead.

_**Thwack!** _

Instantly, everyone in the mess hall bit back their laughs upon seeing the bun bounce off the forehead of the famed and formidable prized soldier and rolled off to the ground.

No one breathed as Ida calmly got out of her chair, pushed it back in neatly and strolled out of the mess hall as though she hadn't thrown a half-eaten bread bun at her clean-freak Captain seconds ago.

As hilarious as it was to see Levi paralyzed in shock that someone would _dare_ do something like that, no one wanted to risk the wrathful fury of his.

But it was well known that the Survey Corps was filled with eccentric misfits, so it was expected that someone would eventually be unable to hold back their laughter, and it was no surprise to anyone that Hanji Zoe would be the first to breach the established _'no laughing'_ rule.

" _HAHAHAHA_! OH MY GOD!" Hanji couldn't hold it back any longer and clutched onto her stomach, hysterically laughing until her ribs ached and tears started welling her eyes. " _HAHAHAHA_!"

"Is it funny, shitty glasses?" Levi questioned darkly, steel threading behind his words.

He had snapped back to reality when he heard her laughter. The purest form of anger was written all across his face. Just beside Hanji, Oluo gulped dryly at that sight — it has been a while since he saw Levi _this_ angry.

"SORRY LEVI! BUT, BUT, SHE— _BWAHAHAHAHA_!"

Hanji wasn't even able to form coherent sentences and even the Eld Jinn — who was known to always be serious — could see why. The hilarious scene kept on replaying in their mind and it tickled the soldiers' funny bone. Even Petra Ral's calm composure was cracking — she had her cheeks puffed out and was desperately trying her best to contain her roaring laughter that threatened to erupt.

"That fucking brat has just dug her grave…" he growled in an abysmal tone. Levi's dull gray eyes sparked in vengeance, his voice strong and condensing. " _IDA STARKE_!"

At the sound of that, many soldiers in the mess hall flinched, silently pitying the redhead for finally managing to push the usually apathetic Levi over the edge.

Taking a mental note of placing Hanji on his _to-kill_ list, Levi aimed to chase after his number one prime target on that list now — a certain newbie he was _dying_ to get his hands on. With another disgruntled scoff, he stormed out the room fuming, hollering her name threateningly down the hallway.

Once the entire legion was sure that their prized Captain was out of earshot, in unison, they burst into resounding laughter, letting out all their contained humor at once. It was a common occurrence by now to see the pair bickering, but it was taken to much higher stakes this time around.

Honestly, throwing a half-eaten bun at a clean freak like Levi? Now that was something Hanji thought deserved a medal.

No one dared to oppose the two whenever they started their childish fights, apart from Erwin, who served as an occasional referee. Once, Gunther had tried to break the pair off and take on the role of the peacemaker. Little did the poor guy know that their wrath and building hatred would be directed to him instead, and he took a sound scolding from Levi while the rest of his squad watched with sympathetic eyes.

As quick as Eld's serious composure left him, did it come back, and he frowned.

"If Captain Levi failed to scare that brat, I'm sure the _Titans_ would," Eld commented loudly, clearly displaying his distaste for the redhead. "I would like to see how she'd do when she goes on her first expedition."

The whole legion in the mess hall fell back into silence when they heard his scathing remark.

The word _'Titan'_ alone was enough to send shivers down their spines and shake their very core. With their next expedition date drawing closer, everyone couldn't help but feel a pang of fear and dread percolate in their stomachs as they tried to finish their supper.

**o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o**

Ida Starke scanned her surroundings with a bored impatience, before deciding that she couldn't keep silent any longer, "Where are you taking me?"

"Just shut up and move, _brat_!" Oluo hissed back sharply, insanely annoyed at her persistent questions and Ida arched a curious brow at his outburst. "Listen, if a newbie like you want to live the life like us seniors, you have to discern your position! What were you talking about so pleasantly with Captain Levi so early in the damn morning—"

The rest of Oluo's sentence got cut off abruptly as he bit down onto his tongue again, causing Ida to roll her eyes away dramatically, already accustomed to his antics.

_When will this guy ever learn that it was not a good idea to talk while riding a horse?_

After what seemed like ten minutes, Gunther slowed down and announced that they had finally arrived at their destination.

"Where is this place?" she inquired, swinging her feet off her horse and dismounting with ease.

"The Southern Division Training camp," Gunther stated simply. "We're here to deliver some reports to the ex-commander of the Survey Corps, Keith Shadis," he elaborated before handing his horse to the stables boys. "Hurry up, we're already late."

"Yeah! Don't you think of slacking off, you stinking brat!" Oluo barked at her from behind tauntingly, clenching his fist as he tried to throw his best dead glare at the unfazed female. "This was supposed to be the newbie's job, but I don't know what shitty trick you've got up your sleeves to get Commander Erwin and Captain Levi to cut down your duties!"

Ida snapped her head around and had wanted to retort back that it was because she didn't _know_ the way here as she had spent the past four years in the Underground City, but she decided it was more beneficial to remain silent, knowing that Oluo would probably accuse her of coming up with excuses anyhow.

Over the past weeks, Ida had warmed up to Petra and Marie, even though she was determined not to form any attachments, she didn't feel good about openly rebuffing their persistent attempts to be friendly. She couldn't say the same for the boys in her squad though. It seemed to Ida that they still hated her with the same burning passion.

Catching up with Gunther who was leading the way, Oluo nudged his comrade by the ribs to inform him of his presence.

"You think this is a good idea, Oluo?" Gunther whispered silently, making sure that silent redhead trailing them did not hear anything. "She's just barely enlisted, there's really no need to be in such a hurry."

"Nonsense!" Oluo retorted with a haughty scoff. "She's an official member now! She needs to learn to be prepared for anything. It's up to _us_ to pound it into her thick skull! I don't know why, but everyone is going soft on that shitty brat! There ain't no way she's ever going to learn anything. Considering that, _he_ may be our only hope!"

Gunther shuddered a little when his unpleasant memory with Keith Shadis flashed in his mind. In truth, even he himself didn't want to come here.

When they reached the main compound, Ida watched the training camp with a vague look of interest, passively staring at the trainees engaged in combat practice. Soon enough they reached a fearsome-looking man standing in the middle of the field. Ida analyzed that he was a frightening and imposing man in his own right — with intense dark circles around his eyes and prominent wrinkles on his forehead.

"Sir, Keith Shadis!" Oluo and Gunther saluted rigidly when they saw him. Ida went into a salute too, observing the man in front of her silently.

"At ease," Keith ordered and threw them a quick dark glare. "I heard from Erwin you'll be coming over today. Did you bring the documents?" Without giving a moment for them to reply, he grabbed the documents from Oluo roughly and skimmed through the papers and nodded. "Alright. You're dismissed."

" _Ah_ , sir!" Oluo shouted randomly, suddenly pushing a stoic Ida to the front.

Ida was stunned. "Huh?"

"This is the newest member of our squad!" Oluo ignored her surprise and introduced her with a suggestive tone. He knew that if Levi and Erwin failed to break her — the fearsome Keith Shadis would _surely_ take a toll on the female.

Keith glowered at the short female in front of him, "I don't remember seeing you on the training grounds before. Which training division are you from?"

"She doesn't have any prior training, sir," Gunther informed him, mentally prepping himself for what was about to come. "Erwin scouted her."

"Oh?" Keith Shadis raised a curious brow, turning his attention back to a composed looking Ida. "Who the hell are you, recruit?!" he bellowed, clearly trying to intimidate and evoke some form of reaction from her.

"Ida," was her simple reply in a clear abysmal tone, not caring to even have eye contact with the towering man in front of her.

Gunther winched inwardly, knowing what was coming next. Everyone in the Survey Corps had been through the terror of _'Rite of Passage'_. It was somewhat of a tradition that had been established over the years.

Oluo smirked triumphantly beside him, looking dementedly satisfied. He knew that he could count on Commander Keith Shadis to break her. He was sure that he was the _only_ one that can put the newbie into submission and fear.

"Is that the way to greet a superior, you worthless pile of shit?!" Keith suddenly bellowed fiercely in her face, mere inches away from her. "You think this is some form of joke, eh, cadet?! What the hell brings you here, you stupid pig?! Are you trying to be first-rate Titan-feed?!"

Ida finally lifted her head and deadlocked her eyes with the intimidating man in front of her. Keith Shadis rose a puzzled brow when he saw her expression, her dark haunting emerald orbs shooting straight into his soul as she kept her strong silence. Though her eyes spoke of misery, her features were all too docile like.

" _EH_?!" Oluo and Gunther gasped out in shock.

It happened in a blink of an eye, Keith had lunged forward to grab her collar but Ida had already predicted his movements and grabbed his wrist before he could.

_Insolent_ , Keith thought, immensely surprised. He had expected her to cave in, but not once did Ida show any signs of faltering.

"I'm sorry, sir," Ida apologized smoothly. Though her tone spoke of respect, the challenge swarming in her eyes was astoundingly clear. "I'm afraid that I have a rather _obsessive_ Captain who resents dirt and he'd surely flip out when he sees creases on my neatly pressed uniform."

Releasing her vice-like grip on him, she continued in a monotone, "In any way, I don't think it's appropriate for one's superiors to lay hands on their subordinates, don't _you_ think so? I am a Survey Corps soldier, not a trainee."

To Keith's surprise, Ida stood there unyielding, face composed as a bronze mask when she released her grip on him. But he saw the blatant challenge in her eyes as if beckoning him to come up with a retort to defend himself.

_How unusual,_ he mused, _witty and sharp too_.

Well, actually it was more than unusual. Keith could easily count how many times on both hands when a soldier actually remained emotionless, much less calm through his merciless _'Rite of Passage'._ Her expression showed no fear and neither did she flinch.

" _Hmph_ ," Keith pursed his lips, analyzing the unmoving female in front of him.

Keith was observant enough to discern one's character traits just by their expressions and mannerisms and it was clear to him that Ida just wasn't one to cave in even with a display of authority and intimidation. Even though she had a face that didn't look ready for war, her eyes showed all the terrors that she had been through in the past — this wouldn't shake her, she had seen and experienced much worse.

He turned on his heel instantly, moving over to the appalled Oluo by the side and kicked him in the shin.

" _URGH_!" Oluo cried in pain as he held onto his shin, jumping around. Gunther gasped in shock and hurried to help his friend.

Keith Shadis threw one last glance at the stoic female by the side, wondering silently just what kind of soldier she was _destined_ to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There aren't that many interactions with Levi and Ida yet, but I wanted to settle the OC in first before I proceed to that and set the tone for their relationship and the plot. But with that note, they'd be going on an expedition soon!
> 
> Reviews would be highly appreciated.


	4. First Expedition

The day had finally come, the day of Ida Starke's first Survey Corps expedition.

As a relatively skilled amateur, she was _cocky_. Cocky enough to think that joining the Survey Corps on an expedition outside the walls would be an adventure that would enlighten her. It was a definite way to protect humanity, a way to give her a purpose in life and a sense of belonging to this world.

It had been four years since Ida had witnessed mankind's defeat when humanity had neither the power nor the measures to opposed Titans. Four years since Ida had witnessed Shighanisna district transform into a field of corpses. She knew the terror of the Titans — but was she afraid? _No._ Things were far different now. She was different. It was thrilling to say, at the very least, and admittedly, Ida had always wondered what it was like beyond the Walls when the Titan roam.

Shrouded in mystery, only rumors and fabled tales of an endless lake call the sea, the lands of ice and the fields of sand was all she knew.

Four years ago, humanity had launched an all-out attack against Titans when they sent able-bodied men and women to retake Wall Maria and yet they achieved nothing, only a genocide. The only reason why Ida was spared from the culling was cause she was captured and smuggled to the Underground City.

It was obvious enough to the cynical Ida that humanity could _never_ win against the Titans.

However, what was she fighting for if she was so adamant about insisting that mankind would never be crowned the victor in this war with the Titans? She found her eyes gazing at her comrades mounted ontop their horses at that troubling thought. There was no doubt that _they_ were fighting for freedom, but what was _she_ fighting for?

Truth to be told, Ida didn't know.

The concept of 'freedom' was strange to her. Ida couldn't understand what it was exactly. Was it a feeling, an object, a physical reaction? She never knew, but it was undeniable she was curious.

The word "freedom" alone was enough to evoke hope in hundreds of brave men, it was enough to send them beyond the Walls where dangers lurked and enough for righteous men to sacrifice their lives — so what was it? What was so _special_ about it that drove the Survey Corps to repeatedly go on life-threatening expeditions after expeditions regardless of failing each time?

What does freedom feel like? Was it worth it? Ida just had to wonder to herself. The closest experience that Ida could match up with that enigmatic word was when Erwin bought her up to the world above from the Underground City — the sun on her cheeks again, the wind in her hair — was that was freedom _felt_ like? Or was freedom something more objective, like when she collected her warrant from Levi which granted her citizenship to the land above once again?

Ida felt goosebumps as she stood amidst the brave legion of the Survey Corps, mounted on her white mare. Her stunning scarlet hair was braided to the side, contrasting with her dark green cloak. Holding onto her reins tightly, she could hear the citizens' murmurs growing louder with excitement as the legion waited for the gates to the open.

"They're here! The main forces of Survey corps are here!"

"Bring pride to humanity, Commander Erwin!"

"Look! That's Captain Levi, they say he alone counts for a full unit!"

"Slay the Titans, Humanity's Strongest!"

In an instant, Ida rolled her eyes dramatically at their praise. If only they knew what an indifferent, clean freak midget Levi was — they would probably throw him over the Walls to the Titans because they couldn't stand his _annoying_ habit of wanting everything to be utterly spotless.

"Oh, is that the rumored Starke girl?"

The redhead froze on her horse, feeling countless tiny pricks as the citizens bore their eyes on her figure. Their gaze felt like daggers stabbing her. She could hear their loud gossip clearly and she gritted her teeth in anger, Ida would have respected them more if they could tune their volume down a notch.

_Do not let it hurt you._

"Such a pretty face for a disgraced child, she won't stand a chance on the Titans. She's definitely going to die. Why is she even in the Survey Corps anyway?

"Maybe this is a new way for the nobility to get rid of unwanted illegitimate children?"

She chewed on her lower lip when she heard their remarks. Ida was no stranger to this, she had heard people gossip about her heritage when she lived in Shiganshina District as well. She supposed by now, she'd have grown accustomed to it but that still didn't stop her features from contorting into a scowl. It wasn't the gossip that pissed her off, it was their pitiful stares that she detested. Those disapproving eyes that _condemned_ her existence.

 _It doesn't matter,_ Ida thought to herself encouragingly.

However, despite her conviction to abide religiously to her statement, Ida found herself clenching her fist tightly just as Levi had ridden up beside her.

"Rumors spread fast," he stated flatly. "They will never shut up, so get used to it."

Levi looked annoyed, though whether it was for because of the noise or because of what they said about her, she wasn't really sure. "I don't really care," she said, slapping an apathetic expression. "I've heard comments like that all my life, it doesn't affect me."

The furrows building on Levi's forehead spoke of skepticism. Feeling uncomfortable with his scrutinizing gaze, Ida opted for a change in subject.

"Humanity's strongest soldier, _eh_?" she mused out loud and chuckled sardonically. "For a midget like yourself, you really are the glory of the Survey Corps."

He scoffed sarcastically at her remark. " _Tch_. They are spouting nonsense, as usual. They'll be condemning us to hell by the time we get back," Levi's voice was just as bored as ever and he looked impassively at the gates of Wall Rose. "Do you remember what I said? This isn't your playground, Starke. Don't go three horses behind me and heed to orders."

"Worry about yourself instead," she rebuffed sharply, not wanting to be catered to. "I can handle myself."

She was no child and Ida certainly didn't want _'special'_ treatment from her Captain. There was enough gossip and hostility among her squad as there is, and plus, Ida was _sure_ that she could handle herself. If not so, then she'd gladly submit to her fate today. It was a gamble that Ida was _willing_ to take, it wasn't like she had anything to look forward to in life anyway. No prospect, nothing.

Ida had long accepted that she had resigned herself to die and perhaps this was the reason why she felt no fear even as she stood in the middle of the legion, just seconds away from entering the Titans' territory.

Levi looked slightly amused at her confident statement, then immediately disturbed. But before he had a chance to throw in an acid retort, the large metal bell resonated its screaming rings from on top the gates, catching everyone's attention.

"Thirty seconds until we open the gates! All personnel, prepare to depart!"

In an instant, Ida's breathing hitched. Titan territory was dangerous and unpredictable in even the best circumstances, she had learned. For many soldiers, it proved to be fatal. It had been just three weeks since Ida had joined the Survey Corps and the general consensus was that it was still far too early for her to embark on an expedition. Still, Levi argued; Ida needed to experience what it was like to be outside the Walls on a scouting expedition — Ida had lived through Shiganshina, so what was the point in treating her with kid gloves now?

At her Captain's argument, Erwin reluctantly relented.

"Whoa look! It's the Survey corps! They call the emblems on the backs the Wings of Freedom!"

At the sound of the cheery voice, she turned to see two kids pointing towards her. Ida felt her chest warmed at the look of their innocent wide eyes and she became conscious of the emblem on her back, and much to her surprise, she felt her heart swell with pride at the fact that she was part of the Survey Corps.

A small smile touched her lips.

_A purpose in life…_

"Humanity will take another step forward! Show me what you can do, soldiers! _Open_ the gates!" Ida heard Erwin yell with resounding conviction from the front lines, sparking a roaring warrior cry from his soldiers. The horses neighed and reeled underneath them in excitement. "We will now _begin_ the 49th expedition beyond the walls!"

"Do your best, Starke!" Marie Clarie did a twist with her fingers beside her.

"Same for you," she replied back briskly, just as the gates opened.

 _You can do this_ , Ida told herself encouragingly and dug her heels into her mare, snapping the reins as the whole legion charged forward in unison.

_Freedom, what is it really?_

Ida gave out a soft gasp when she finally exited the gates.

Her heartbeat elevated in adrenaline as her senses sped to comprehend all that was going on around her. The picturesque image of the beautiful horizon, the air fresh and crisp, the overwhelming sunlight, the feeling of her horse sprinting underneath her — it was all so new to her. Even the taste of the air felt different from inside the massive walls.

Warm sun rays kissed her pale cheeks and the view of the endless horizon caused her breath to hitch at its beauty. Ida found it hard to put a name to the emotions she was experiencing, but it was mesmerizing.

Maybe it was due to the fact that she had lived in the darkness of the Underground City for the past four years. Maybe it was due to the adrenaline that pumped through her veins, highly conscious that she was in Titan's territory. Or maybe, just maybe, _this_ was what freedom felt like.

She squinted her large emerald eyes as she stared directly into the sun, breathing in deeply.

Ida became aware of her pounding heart and the humming in her ears, indulging her every sense as she swept her astonished eyes across the scenery. The feeling was liberating, nothing like she had ever felt before. The taste of freedom was simply mesmerizing to her and it got Ida hooked right away like it was a drug.

For the first time in a long time, she felt so unburdened, so free and liberated.

Truth to be told, Ida had never once understood why the Survey Corps would ever bother leaving the walls to embark on dangerous mission on Titans' territory but she had an idea why now; _this_ is what the Survey Corps was fighting for, this is what _drives_ them to be motivated — it was the feeling of pure freedom that only those that ventured outside the walls knew.

Liberation. The sunrays softly beating down on their skins as though to cleanse away her agony. It was nothing compared to _just_ being able to live in the lands above the Underground. Maybe this was the true definition of freedom.

All this time she had been locked up like a wingless bird in the cage, trapped and confined within the Walls. Ida finally understood why the Survey Corps' emblem was called the Wings of Freedom; the feeling of being outside the Walls was what she could only compare to that of a bird gliding in the air.

For the first time of her life, she finally felt like she had wings — a purpose and a direction in life.

Ida Starke had somewhere she belonged to.

 _This is really too good to be true,_ she thought, never once expecting that someone like her would be able to go outside the walls and experience such a magical feeling.

But of course, reality pulled her down from the cloud nine that she on and she fell from grace without a safety net. The cold, heartless reality that freedom was only deprived from humans because of the dangers that lurked beyond the Walls.

_**"Titan!"** _

As quick as she submerged herself into her calm reverie, Ida snapped out of her dreamy thoughts, clenching hard on her jaw when she finally met her burning gaze to the very monster that obliterated her every happiness.

It was just as she remembered it — immense, grotesque and intimidating beyond words. Its massive stature and its loathsome face were enough to send any brave soldier cowering in his knees in fear.

But oddly enough, for Ida, she did not feel any fear building up within her. Instead, she felt rage.

The phantom pain-wrought screams of people… The horrifying glass-like eyes of the Titans… The blood and unrecognizable corpses that rained down on the grounds of a decimated and fallen town… The memory of everything was still so _palpable_ in her mind.

Fear was a heart-wrenching emotion, only experienced by people who were afraid of losing something. Humans felt fear for the Titans because they fear death. But it was different for her, she was not afraid to die.

Because if the heavens were to declare that she would _die_ today, then she would _accept_ it gratefully for she had nothing to lose anyway.

To be frank, she didn't exactly know how long she had felt this way. Perhaps it was because she was living aimlessly for so long, or she supposed it was because of the survivor's guilt that still plagued her life every day.

It was not as if she felt suicidal, in fact, Ida she was grateful to be alive. Like any other person, she wanted to live… But at the same time, Ida was also aware of how tired she was of living — too worn out and beaten down after walking through hell.

She wasn't afraid to die, Ida wouldn't mind it at all. But if she were to go down, she had formed a resolve to do it in a meaningful way. At least that way, her _pitiful_ existence would have served a purpose. If Ida had to put it in terms; she was just a _prideful_ coward.

Ida found herself staring at her Levi's back in front of her.

 _Of course,_ she thought sullenly. _It wasn't the same for him, no matter how similar our pasts are. He is different._

"Sixteen-meter class from the left of the forest, it's heading straight for us!" Marie announced, panic lacing her voice.

The experienced veterans immediately took charge of the situation and Ida watched in silent awe at the efficient way they functioned. From what she had observed till now, the Survey Corps squads were usually separated most of the time, each breaking off to different groups during meals, but outside the Walls it was different. They were a single _troop_ united with a single goal.

One _heart_ , one _goal_ , one _soul_.

Ida knew then, this was the _trust_ that Marie was talking about three weeks back.

"It's too close!" Eld declared anxiously beside her. "We can't avoid it on a horse, we have no choice but to take it down! Do not let it destroy the formation!"

She heard Levi made an annoyed noise underneath his nose before he turned his head back to face his squad. "Eld, take Petra and Oluo and subdue that damn shitty thing! The main force will continue on with the supplies!"

"Roger that!" Eld took charge, pulling his horse towards the direction of the quickly approaching Titan. He raced towards it with Oluo and Petra following behind, separating from the formation. "Do not let it escape the forest! Switch to 3D maneuver gear!"

"Roger!" Petra and Oluo responded snappily, their eyes blazing with determination on the battlefield. The sounds of clicking echoed as they plugged their razor-sharp blades to their hilt.

Eld balanced himself steadily on his horse, shooting his grapple to the nearby tree. He propelled himself towards the tall forest, his blades stationed readily in his vice-like grasp for the strike, "Aim for its legs!"

In a blink of an eye, Petra shot her grapple towards the Titan's legs, piercing it. She propped herself up on her horse and quickly launched towards the gigantic leg without hesitation. Oluo was just about to follow suit when a massive cry distracted him.

"Titan! Another four-meter class hiding in the forest!" Marie screamed in horror when she spotted the distinct peach color of the massive monster's body contrasting the dense green surrounding. "Why isn't it approaching us?! It's an _abnormal_!"

"OLUO, WATCH OUT!" Gunther cried.

"Fuck!" Levi reeled his prized black stallion around, galloping at full speed towards the Titan, his gray eyes blazing with malicious intent, bubbling with rage at the thought of something happening to his comrades.

But it was too late, Oluo didn't have enough time to dodge the Titan due to its sudden appearance. A heartbeat later, Petra's blood-curling shriek of denial could be heard just as the four-meter class Titan grabbed onto her squadmate like he was a doll.

" _OLUO_!" The ginger screamed.

" _AH_! Let me go!" Oluo screamed and pleaded for his life while the massive grip tightened threateningly around his body. It seemed that he was fated for tragedy. At that thought of his demise, fear of the highest form consumed him and tears started prickling his eyes. He struggled definitely, not wanting to be a victim just yet.

Levi could only watch helplessly as the Titan brought his subordinate to its mouth, ready to chomp down and end his life. No matter how many comrades Levi had seen fall on the battlefield, he would never be accustomed to the sight.

" _Shit_!" he cursed, knowing that was too far from the forest, he wouldn't get there in time.

A flash of red caught his attention.

Reeling herself in as the Titan quickly snatched her comrade up towards its mouth, she tightened her grip on her fresh blades, knowing that they were ready for use. Ida impaled her grapple skillfully towards a nearby tree and when she reached the Titan, she released the grapple, spinning in a circle with finesse and proficiency, establishing a lethal deep slash at the nape of the Titan just seconds before it could devour her comrade.

The voice inside of her screamed for blood; it ached for _Titan's_ blood.

Her attack was flawless, precise and deadly, showing extreme experience and advance usage of the 3D maneuver gear and blades.

Blood spilled from the deeply lacerated wound and it wasn't before long when the Titan fell to its demise, releasing its grip on a wheezing and red-faced Oluo.

The redhead landed with ease on top of the steaming and disintegrating corpse of the monster, clicking her tongue in annoyance. "Stupid damn thing."

The scarlet blood from the Titan was splattered across her face and emitted white steam as she leveled her gaze with her panting and wheezing comrade on the ground, clearly thanking the high heavens for his narrow escape with death.

Though her expression was stoic and apathetic, Ida felt the tension in her racing heart dissipating.

_Oluo is alive, I made it in time..._

It was at that moment Ida felt a sense of pride in her field of work, as much as she hated the loudmouth squadmate, she certainly did not want him dead. Things were different now, as compared to the Ida in the Underground City, she would protect others instead of taking lives. This was the only way she could repent.

This way, maybe she could be as _perfect_ as Levi Ackerman.

"You've got to be kidding me…" A seasoned veteran on the battlefield murmured to himself, watching everything from afar. "She was so fast I could hardly see her…"

Chatters and murmurs erupted among the passing legion that had just witnessed the amateur's flawless attack. It was an attack that no amateur should have been able to pull off and it only further proved her level of skill. Ida was as capable as any seasoned veteran out there, perhaps even more so.

Marie Clarie only laughed airily, her heart rate slowing down significantly. For a brief moment, she had thought Oluo had passed the gates to hell. "That's Starke for you!" she cheered with relief.

"To think that Oluo is always rambling on about how much of a brat she was…" Jason Meerin commented with a relieved sigh.

"Fast…" Levi muttered softly to himself, watching everything from afar. He was impressed, but he wasn't going to let it show. He pulled his horse to an abrupt halt when he reached the pair, narrowing his eyes at the stone-faced redhead.

"I didn't give you the order to follow after them did I?" he inquired darkly. "You acted without orders, Starke."

Ida rolled her eyes at his comment. "If I wasn't so disobedient, his sorry ass would have been Titan feed by now. Be grateful for once that I didn't follow your orders," she spat without the necessary filter to her Captain, grabbing Oluo none-too-gently and pulled him up. "Get your lazy ass up, we still have a long way to go."

Erwin Smith looked back to where his daughter and Levi was, and he couldn't help but smile to himself, pride blooming deep in his chest.

"That redhead brat really has some potential, huh…" His subordinate beside him commented, his brown locks swaying in the wind. "I always thought all she was ever good for was pissing off Captain Levi."

"Of course she does," Erwin's stunning blue eyes twinkled, focusing his gaze back on the road in front of him. He murmured to himself softly underneath his breath, glad that the sounds of the horses' footsteps were loud enough to conceal his next words.

"She takes after her _father_ , after all."

**o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o**

She was _alive_.

Much to her amazement, Ida was astonished that she still kicking. Two hours into the scouting expedition and the Survey Corps had reached its destination. Releasing a long sigh, she closed her eyes and tried to relax.

In all honesty, she had expected herself to be swimming in a Titan's stomach by now, reduced to nothing but flesh and bones. The legion had stopped by an abandoned village to set up a logistics base and she was finally able to have a minute to sort out her feelings.

The lone redhead sat by an old box near the tent by herself, silently cursing at the noises erupting from the tent behind her. She just _had_ to get away from the lunatic Hanji Zoe's and her relentless rants about what amazing creatures the Titans were. Ida just didn't get what the eccentric brunette saw in those stark nude, grotesque monsters.

Sure, they were fascinating creatures with their massive size and the amount of destructive power they have, but after witnessing the horrors that they bring once again, Ida Starke's hatred for the terrifying creatures had finally reached its peak.

 _Seventeen_ men, that was how much it took for them to get this far. Seventeen brave soldiers had embarked on a journey in search of freedom, only to have it mercilessly snatched away when their lives abruptly ended on the battlefield.

A horde of Titans had suddenly appeared and immediately overwhelmed the entire enemy detection right flank of the formation and Ida had been a witness to their tragic demise.

The blood, the gruesome entrails, and their agonizing screams as they begged for their lives — everything was fresh in her memory. Every time she closed her eyes, she could still remember their faces from when they were slaughtered right in front of her.

 _Humanity hasn't changed one bit…_ Ida quickly decided when she kicked a stone bitterly. _We're still weak._

Clenching on the area above her heart, she willed the stinging sensation to fade.

Ida's expression was one of deeply disturbed contemplation. How could anyone, Survey corps soldier or not, still _hope_ for freedom after they watching that massacre? That brief feeling of freedom wasn't worth it all, it simply wasn't worth seventeen men. So what _was_ it that fuels these brave soldiers to venture beyond the wall and kill Titan after Titan?

Within the first few minutes that Ida ventured beyond the walls, she admitted that she had naively thought that freedom was indeed worth it. But now, hours into the expedition, she changed her mind.

_No, freedom just wasn't worth it._

_Freedom isn't worth human lives._

She stared at the Survey Corps emblem on a passing soldier.

 _Wings of Freedom...?_ Ida had to restrain an indignant scoff. _They were nothing more but bloodstained patchwork wings._

It wasn't as if Ida cared or desired for freedom as much as her comrades did. In fact, she wouldn't mind if freedom was deprived from mankind forever. She didn't really care really.

To her, freedom — no matter how pleasant and liberating it was — was simply not worth it. It was simply not worth human lives to her because Ida valued the lives of humans much higher than anything else. But she couldn't deny that she was intrigued by how these people would gladly give their lives for something so insignificant and so far beyond their reach.

If it _wasn't_ freedom, then _what_ was it?

It was a question that Ida couldn't crack no matter how much she pondered over it. But she was determined to find out by the end of this expedition.

She was determined to find something _else_ worth fighting for.

Suddenly, Hanji Zoe emerged from Commander's tent, chasing after Erwin and this snapped Ida out of her reverie.

"Hey! Wait Erwin!" Hanji called desperately. "Are you listening to me?!"

Her lips thinned at the sight. Ida guessed that she was still trying to convince Erwin to enlist men on a mission to capture a live Titan specimen for experimentation, but it didn't seem like Erwin was going to cave in anytime soon.

Ida briefly met eye contact with the blonde commander, before she hastily averted her eyes away, praying that he wouldn't approach her with one of his attempts on small talks again. Which to her relief, he didn't and instead opted to walk away with a stoned firm expression.

Oluo stood by the mouth of the tent, haughtily scoffing at the spectacle. "It's no use Hanji-san. We put our lives on the line just trying to kill that thing, there's no way we can take one alive."

Instantly, an enraged Hanji clenched his collar in her fist and easily lifted him off the ground. With tangible menace, she cut his wide-eyed face apart with a fanatical creepy glare and spoke grimly, "Think about this, Oluo. Let's say Levi's coming and he's dead set on killing you... What would you do? Could you fight him and survive?"

"O — Of course not…." Oluo panted, sweat building on his forehead when he saw that loathsome fanatical smirk on her lips — no good, Hanji's going mad again. "H — Hey… I can't breathe."

Hanji's brown eyes sparkled with madness. "Want me to tell you how you can win that fight...? You do your homework… The place he works, the food he hates, his taste in women, the number of times he takes a piss..."

Her grip on him got tighter as Oluo struggled, foam building up his mouth. But the eccentric squad leader was too drunk in her lust for information on Titans to acknowledge his difficulty in breathing, "You find out everything you can about him! Once you know him, you can find a weakness you can exploit! If you don't do that before you fight, you will die for sure!"

"Hanji-san!" Petra cried out in panic, watching in horror when her squadmate in Hanji's hands struggled for sweet oxygen.

"Squad leader, you're going too far!" Moblit Berner, the assistant leader in Hanji's squad harshly berated her.

Hanji scoffed in annoyance when she heard her right-hand man's call. But that seemed to be enough because Hanji loosened her grip around Oluo's collar and released him. Oluo went plummeting to the ground, gasping and wheezing as he drank the air around him greedily. Petra was by his side, helping him back to his feet.

After a few more seconds of silence, Hanji effortlessly changed the subject, sounding a bit more like her normal, more chipper self. "Ah my bad!" she said nervously. "But you get my point, right?"

A disbelief look touched Oluo's face when his eyes finally met with Hanji's, and much to his dismay, she offered him a large, friendly grin, acting as though nothing had happened.

Ida shook her head quietly, watching the scene from afar. Sometimes, she wondered if Hanji Zoe's obsession with Titan experimentation brink to a point of insanity. It was clear to her now that the eccentric squad leader had a _few_ loose screws here and there.

" _Tch_. You're so stupid, Bozado." Ida piped up sardonically and when he threw her a scathing glare, she returned it with a look on her face that told him she'd meant nothing by that statement before she clarified herself, "If that were to happen, just steal Levi's rag and cleaning supplies and make a mess of his room, surely he would go ballistic to a point he would be distracted in battle."

Her snarky comment sent Petra and Moblit giggling, nodding their heads agreeably. "Of course you would know, Starke!" Petra laughed airily. "You stole his cleaning supplies before, didn't you?"

Hanji chuckled when she remembered the time where Levi raged through the headquarters like a grumpy imp, looking for his missing cleaning supplies. After correctly discerning that Ida was the one who hid them, he issued her an appropriate back-breaking punishment of sharpening the entire legions' blades much to her chagrin.

Thankfully, Petra and the rest had managed to find their Captain's precious cleaning supplies before he destroyed any more furniture.

Ida shrugged idly at that bitter memory. " _Tsk_ , it was his fault. I figured that if I hid it, I wouldn't have to wake up at five every morning to do the cleaning," she mumbled irritably. "That went _splendidly_ well, however."

"Exactly! So you understand why it was so important to exploit the Titan's weakness, right?!" Hanji suddenly dove in front of her and grabbed her hands, her eyes twinkling in the hope that she found someone who shared her ideas. "Say, why don't you help me capture a Titan?!"

"No." Ida flatly rejected and tried to move her way out Hanji's vice-like grip. "And please get your hands off me."

However, the brunette simply refused to leave her alone.

"I'm Hanji Zoe by the way, but I am sure you know that already! We haven't really talked, have we?" she introduced joyfully, shaking the redhead's hand vigorously and ignoring the growing frown on her face. "I saw the way you brought down the Titan! That was amazing! I could use your help once I get Erwin to agree to spare me some men for my operation to capture one!"

"No thank you," Ida shot her down again, making a disgusted face at just the thought of capturing that vile monster and bringing it within the Walls.

Undeterred by Ida's obvious irritation, Hanji slapped her back and she laughed merrily. "I look forward to your help in the future!" she grinned happily, much to Ida's dismay. "Hey, you didn't come here from the training corps, right? Where did you learn how to use 3DMG?"

Ida let out a soft sigh, realizing that no matter how many times she tried to reject Hanji, she simply wouldn't take _no_ for an answer.

"I was self-taught. Nothing special." Ida amused her in a dull bored tone, wanting nothing more than to shake Hanji off her back as soon as possible.

But the brunette wasn't satisfied with her short vague answers and tried to make conversation, "How have you been adapting to Survey Corps? Having a hard time?"

"Everyone here is hot-headed and it's a den of weirdos that won't shut up for a minute about Titans," Ida spoke pointedly, hoping that Hanji would get the hint.

Her plans backfired again when Hanji blinked twice before bursting out in laughter and grinned a smile so wide that it seemed un-proportional on her small face. "You know..." she scooted closer towards Ida, who uncomfortably backpedaled away from her. "…I could tell you about Titan experimentation if you like…"

"Stop it, you damn four-eyes. Are you trying to make me quit my job?"

Much to Ida's relief, Levi came to her rescue with an intimidating scowl on his face that she was sure to even put the eccentric squad leader into submission. "Your insanity is contagious and if another shitty glasses starts prancing around the legion, I'm quitting on the damn fucking spot."

For once, Ida was glad to see his face, she would've hated to experience the infamous _'eight-hour rant'_ about the importance of Titan experimentation from the brazen scientist that she had heard so much about. Silently, she moved closer to him, hoping that it would get Hanji to finally leave her alone.

"You get so worked up over nothing." Hanji pouted sadly with a sigh, looking at him earnestly. She peered at the redhead who had found refuge behind him. "Hey, Starke, isn't it suffocating to always be with a guy like him?"

"Yeah." Ida couldn't agree more with her statement.

"Shut up and go bother someone else," Levi deadpanned and gestured to Ida. "She's got work to do."

As fast as her pout came to her face, it dissipated and Hanji smiled jovially and left the scene, still going on about Erwin's misstep for not capturing a live specimen. Moblit scurried to catch up with her, trying earnestly to calm his squad leader.

 _Poor guy,_ Ida mused to herself as she watched their retreating figures.

Honestly, she pitied Moblit for being around someone like _her_ all the time — he had his work seriously cut out for him. But then again, between Levi and Hanji as squad leaders, she didn't know who had the harder life, Moblit or her.

"I still don't get her…" Ida commented aloud to herself, shaking her head.

"You won't ever," Levi remarked with a low irritable growl, overhearing her comments. "She's fucking psychotic that's all you need to know."

"Right... I'll take note of that," she replied, turning her heel in the other direction.

She was just about to leave the vicinity when Levi suddenly stopped in front of her path, his accusing gaze piercing her.

"So it was you after all who stole my supplies..."

Ida raised a brow, realizing that he had overheard their conversation. She held her chin imposingly high and her eyes still gleamed the fierce determination she always had on the battlefield. "Took you long enough to realize that sir."

Levi's gaze burned into her almost threateningly, but Ida didn't flinch. "Your rudeness goes beyond the roof as usual, but I admire your stupid valiant dedication to make my life a miserable living hell, brat."

"It's my pleasure, _sir_ ," she responded back smugly.

"That bitch is insane," Oluo's discontented voice interjected the conversation, finally recovered from the choke. He started glaring daggers at the retreating back of the Squad leader. "She belongs to the nuthouse."

Petra sighed, placing her hands on her hips as she shook her head at her squadmate disapprovingly. "You know you're part of the Survey Corps, so could you do something about that barbaric way of speaking?"

"Huh? Why do I get a lecture Petra?!" Oluo retorted defiantly, his graying brows furrowing. He pointed to Levi and Ida by their side and said, "I mean, look at those two! Curse words are in their daily vocabulary!"

"Shut the hell up." Levi and Ida snapped irritably in unison, their eyes twinkling — an underlying promise that if he doesn't obey their orders, a severe punishment was awaiting him.

Petra and Oluo gulped in response, hastily looking away. After saving his life, Oluo had a newfound respect for the younger redhead and had personally gone to thank her afterward after much convincing from Petra. But damn, when it comes to intimidation, she could _rival_ their Captain any day.

Blinking in surprise, the pair averted their gaze back to each other, surprised at the coincidence of their words and tone. Levi smirked in amusement as wide emerald eyes looked at him in surprise. It was the first time Ida had seen him without the usual scowl on his face. But his smirk disappeared as fast as it came and his typical scowl came into sight.

"What?" she asked, uncomfortable with the way he was looking at her.

"What you did today was incredibly stupid," Levi told her, his tone dangerously close to a growl. "You disobeyed my direct orders."

Ida raised a brow at his remark, confused. "I don't regret it," she stated tonelessly. "I saved Oluo."

"If you're expecting a fucking pat on the back, don't wait up." he sneered, his sharp eyes scanning her features. He scoffed at the sight of her confused expression. Then he moved in and whispered harshly in her ear and there was a tinge of recognition in his tone. "But tell me, are you really that fucking resigned to die?"

Her eyes went round. "W — What?"

Levi pulled away and glared at her, almost disapprovingly. "You don't give a rat's ass about freedom don't you?"

Ida's stunned silence was the only affirmation Levi needed and he relentlessly continued.

"You had no intention for freedom or saving all of damned humanity from the start," Levi went on without mercy. "You don't care, you have already resigned yourself to die."

Ida straightened herself up at his obvious provocation. Trying her best to not become unnerved, she clenched her teeth angrily as she growled, "Don't act like you know me."

Levi quirked a brow high in a challenge and Ida wanted nothing more than to wipe that smug look off his face, but she restrained herself. She had no intention of arguing with him when they were on an expedition.

"You don't fucking care — not for even Oluo's life like you tell yourself. You disobeyed my orders and broke formation, placing yourself in danger to save him, but you just needed someplace to die, some purpose in your pitiful life," Levi rained down judgment upon her, hitting right on the nail. "You got to make it looked as though you're trying to save a life so you're remembered as a damn piss-poor hero who died saving someone."

Ida's teeth clenched tighter and tighter as he went on, though her mind was already churning out a smart comeback, Ida found that she couldn't bring herself to say it.

Not when Levi was _right_ about everything.

"Do whatever you fucking want, die the way that you want to if it pleases you," Levi's features darkened, his tone serious. "But if you ever disobey my orders again or do something stupid that risks the lives of my subordinates, I will end you myself. Their lives are not something a shitty brat like you can just play around with."

Ida was still in shock when Levi left the scene and her fist came together in anger. Her chest constricted significantly as she replayed his words over and over again. Every word reminded her of how deplorable she was. She bit her bottom lip, feeling rage not only at Levi for blatantly calling her out but at herself for harboring such egregious thoughts.

 _Fuck him_ , she cursed inwardly. _He doesn't understand_.

_But then again, how does someone so perfect as Levi Ackerman, possibly understand someone as dishonorable and cowardly as me?_

"Petra! Are you done with the restocking?" Eld called from the stairs, pulling Ida out from her dazed state.

"Y — Yes Eld-san! I'm almost done!" Petra answered back, disarray prominent in her tone. In truth, she had forgotten that there was still work to be done.

"I can help." Ida offered sedately, approaching the flustered Petra. She knew that she would be in trouble if they were late. The goal of their mission is to set up a supply base and time was running short — they had to get back to the Walls soon. There was no time to nurse her depression.

Petra smiled warmly towards her. "Thank you!"

"No problem," Ida returned her smile with a tired one of her own.

**o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o**

Finally, a moment of peace that Ida was extremely thankful for. Far away from a fanatical Hanji, a bitter Levi and the rest of the squad who watched her every move with wary eyes, Ida never felt more at bliss.

She leaned against the brick wall of a deserted house, not too far away from where the legion was at. The place was relatively isolated, but it provided her the necessary comfort time that she desired. Sighing softly, she crossed her arms over her chest and simply relaxed in her newfound tranquil environment.

Her moment of peace was shortly disrupted when she heard rustling sounds from the corner. Blinking in surprise, she faced the direction of the noises. It wasn't possible that it was Titans, she wasn't that far off from the legion and she was sure that the lookout scouts would give a signal if there were any signs of the approaching danger.

" _Tch_." Ida gritted her teeth in intense irritation when she saw a familiar lock of blonde hair coming around from the corner.

Erwin Smith stopped in his tracks and looked up from his stack of papers when he heard something move in front of him. He looked relatively surprised when he saw her. A moment of apprehensive silence passed between them without one saying a single word.

"What are you doing here all alone?" Erwin said out of nowhere to break the silence, catching Ida a little off guard. "Where's your squad?"

She looked at Erwin in surprise before shifting her gaze elsewhere, frowning to herself. From his tone, she could discern that she was supposed to stick with Levi and the others since they were in Titan territory but she just had to wonder what made Erwin speak to her.

"I don't have a squad," she answered simply, avoiding eye contact. "I'm just a member."

Erwin's hard blue eyes softened significantly. "I see…"

Silence passed between them for a long moment until Erwin glanced in the direction of the camp as if ensuring nobody was eavesdropping on their conversation.

"What do you think so far?" He started, keeping his voice low as he changed the subject. "Are you adjusting well?"

"I have a dick-face for a Captain and everyone harps on about Titans all day long," Ida answered truthfully without a filter. Pressing her lips together, she glanced towards the camp. "This is like a place for misfits, so I'm _definitely_ adjusting well."

Erwin allowed a wan smile to touch his lips when he sensed her sarcasm. She was so much like her mother. Elsie Starke was known to have a razor tongue, not afraid to voice her concerns and opinions without a second thought. Reckless and witty, Ida mirrored her in every way. But Erwin saw his stubbornness in her.

Another stretch of silence passed between them before Erwin attempted to break it again.

"You did really well for your first expedition, you even managed to take down an abnormal deviant type on your first battle," he gave her an encouraging smile, one that she did not reciprocate. Erwin chuckled awkwardly, trying to lighten the mood when he saw Ida's face turn dark. "Quite an accomplishment, I would say."

"If you're trying to curry me up," Ida interjected sharply. "It isn't working, Erwin. Just stop it."

Erwin shook his head softly, not taking offense to her words. "I'm just saying that your comrades can relax when they have someone as talented around you in their squad," he reasoned with a frown. "They can depend on you."

"They have Levi. He's the pride of the legion, is he not?" she countered, quirking a challenging brow.

"We need all the talent and potential like yours, Ida. The Survey Corps has made innumerable sacrifices over the years, but yet we still don't know much about the Titans," Erwin explained earnestly. "But it's all for the sake of humanity's future, we need every person to contribute."

Ida scoffed like she had taken offense to his statement, finally averting her eyes to meet with his icy blue ones. "Yeah, I forgot," she scoffed to herself dryly, shaking her head at herself. "The Survey Corps are full of bastard inhuman filth like you who would give up _everything_ , even your _family_ to contribute to the sake of fucking humanity and those damned Titans."

Her words were like acid, painful and crude, and it stung him. Erwin's face remained composed throughout, but he allowed a sigh to pass his lips. "Ida—"

"Just leave me alone," Ida continued as though he'd never said anything in the first place. Before Erwin could say anything else, she slid off the wall and made her way back to the legion.

"Sorry, I'm exhausted," she added briskly, turning her heel sharply. "I'll get back to my squad, sir."

_My comrades can depend on me?_

As she walked back to where the legion was, Ida wanted to laugh at Erwin's statement that was swarming in her mind, playing over and over like a broken recorder, albeit more sarcastically than anything else.

_There were people that used to depend on me, Erwin... But, where are they now?_

_**Dead** _ _. Every single one of them._

_I can't be depended on._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to my dear BETA reader: ChocoCookiesMe!

**Author's Note:**

> The Prologue begins one year before Eren and the others join the Survey Corps, they will be appearing in this story very often and I plan to make them the main supporting characters! Thank you for giving this fanfiction a shot! Reviews are very much appreciated! I want to hear what you guys think!
> 
> A big thank you to my dear beta-readers: Jikola, Lucifae and ShadowedNara


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